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My support worker quit...

super-meg

She text me randomly last week saying 'I'm pregnant and can not continue to support you' and basically quit work altogether. Her boss was furious and so was my social worker because she shouldn't have told me and it should have been handled better. I'm gutted because I don't trust easy and worked with her every week for 7 months, we had plans to do things like going to the to important things like to get me to therapy I'd waited ages for that is 70 miles away and help me into supported employment. We have a lot in common and were more like friends. I don't know where to go from here I feel all alone again I don't know if I could trust a new support worker after this. At the moment I don't want to consider it but I'm feeling the effects of lack of social contact. 

Any advice? 

  • support workers are not supposed to e more like a friend. They are supporting you as a professional to be more independent and self reliant. I have found the best relationships are professional ones, ones where boundaries are clearly know by both parties. Maintaining some distance from a client I support enables me to do my job better and enables the client to be empowered wihout having unrealstic expectations of someone while the are trying to do their job. I dont want to be telephoned in the middle of the night, resented for having my own private life, and made to feel I owe the client something. All these things have happened to me becuse I unwittingly allowed myself to end up more like their friend. I had verbal abuse and controlling behaviour./because professional respect had eroded.

    So, no, support workers are meant to be friendly but they are not obliged or expected to be your friend. I was a nurse previously and didnt feel I had to be my patients friend although I was friendly. It is a paid job. 

    A support worker owes you respect and professionalism and compassion and courtesy and....support.

    She is moving on with her life and you should with yours. Draw a line under it and get another support worker but seriously consider what I have said.

    Anon

    Support Worker 

  • Hi all,

    As it happens she told her boss the exact time she text me but because I phoned my social worker straight away her boss hadn't seen the email so heard it 3rd hand. To be fair they were both furious with her as it totally shouldn't have been handled this way.

    For me its now a moving on issue as I worked with the support worker for 7 months and trust is a massive issue for me so now its whether I can risk putting myself through this again, and get to know somebody else again. Its already effecting my trust with other people...

  • I think that fact she texted you means she cares about you, I don't think she would have texted everybody she has worked with? Doesn't make it any easier for you, but I don't think you need to worry she quit because of you. 

  • Crystal12 agree with your comment. They can not just let vulnerable people down but I think natural circumstances have played a huge part in this. It reminds me of the days gone by, if you took a servant on at the big house,, the help was not allow to get pregnant unless it was the master of the house who did so. Try being in work one day and made redundant the next,, life throws a curve ball at thousands of people each day,, today it was super-megs turn, but she may have lost the helper, but not the help. Smile Her net is still there,, okay with a big hole in it just now which can be repaired with some work, social work.

     

  • my doc would say, unfortunately this is the practical reality of the situation. She did not quit, she got pregnant and has made a personal decision to not work but raise a family. She let you know personally, because she was close to you.

    This is one too address with the support worker provider, they must address the situation. At the end of the day, if your therapy treatment plan is working,, you should still have all the plans in place,, one support worker is not your world. Write this into your plan... what if support worker leaves, the impact and what to do about it. I would say lean on the social worker so that it gets sorted. See it as a test and an opportunity to meet a new support worker and have new eyes on the world. Remember you are super meg Smile

     

     

  • Hi - If her agency knew she was pregnant then they should have had a protocol in place so you would not have had this experience.  They should be in a position to quickly replace any support worker who suddenly has to leave or be away for a period of time.    I would question your agency about this as they need to improve their service.   You should also mention it to your social worker.  I hope your next support worker + yourself build up a relationship of trust, despite what happened this time.

  • Note I have no record of challenging behaviour and she has left the agency not just me but feel insulted she was supposed to understand but did this to me and with no notice period.