I am a strange contradiction. On the one hand I like to work hard, 'do the right thing', and I am very conscientious in a work situation. I do lots of volunteering, as well as having a part-time paid job. I am always polite in public, hold the door open to people, say please and thank you, and follow the rules of basic etiquette. If I see some money or pretty objects left on the ground, I take them straight to the Council offices; I could never contemplate pocketing them.
However, in private, I am very different. I can be quite rude at home, around those close to me; not intentionally, but because I am allowed to be more 'Asperger' around them - it is safer to be myself.
I compartmentalise my life into public and private spheres, and don't like to please other people, for the pure sake of it, in my private life.
One of my neighbours recently asked me to water the flowers in the communal flat garden, because the elderly lady, who usually waters them, is not very well. This 'well meaning' neighbour does not even live in my block of flats, but she helps the old lady do her shopping. I unwittingly 'agreed' to water the plants, but only because she made it very hard for me to say no, and immediately thanked me profusely. Today, she asked me if I had watered them, and I said that I have been very busy and have not had the time. She expressed concern that the flowers would die, and encouraged me to water them. Annoyingly I volunteer at the same charity shop as her, so I cannot avoid her meddling.
I don't want to water the communal flowers because I don't own the flowers in a private sense, and I would not enjoy watering them. I enjoy watering my own flowers, because I have bought them, and they are part of myself. I am very egocentric and feel no need to please these people.
This 'neighbour' , while very nice, is also meddling, nosy, and bossy. I hate being told what to do when I am not at work.
