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As and having children

Jon

I know that I don't want children. I am in a relationship and my partner is now OK with this.

I wondered what other people on the spectrum thought about having children. Would they like to have them? For myself I find the whole idea totally crazy - I just don't have that feeling to want them. I can only see negatives.

Thoughts?

Parents

  • It's taken me into my mid thirties to develop executive function skills sufficient to organise myself and my living environment enough to satisfy my high need for order and predictability. I'm not sure I could cope with a dependent person upsetting that balance now. 

    I don't dislike most children, used to be a decent babysitter in my teens (handy if you can give them back afterwards...) and I do sometimes get sad seeing other people in "normal" relationships somehow juggling life, social life, their household, work, money and children like it's easy or comes naturally to them. 

    It makes me a bit sad when people bring babies into work and I think "Gosh, what I need is a wife, maybe then I'd be able to have this, too" (I am female myself, but wives seem to be how many AS men manage to have a family and a bit of a social life)

    I am however also aware that children are an unpredictable thing, noisy and demanding of attention, which upsets my routine and means you lose out on time to organise yourself and enjoy your interests. 

    I can cope with a child quite well on a one on one basis, but I don't think I could sustain that attention on a permanent basis without myself, my partner, my work, my household etc suffering in the long run. Or worse, the child. 

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  • It's taken me into my mid thirties to develop executive function skills sufficient to organise myself and my living environment enough to satisfy my high need for order and predictability. I'm not sure I could cope with a dependent person upsetting that balance now. 

    I don't dislike most children, used to be a decent babysitter in my teens (handy if you can give them back afterwards...) and I do sometimes get sad seeing other people in "normal" relationships somehow juggling life, social life, their household, work, money and children like it's easy or comes naturally to them. 

    It makes me a bit sad when people bring babies into work and I think "Gosh, what I need is a wife, maybe then I'd be able to have this, too" (I am female myself, but wives seem to be how many AS men manage to have a family and a bit of a social life)

    I am however also aware that children are an unpredictable thing, noisy and demanding of attention, which upsets my routine and means you lose out on time to organise yourself and enjoy your interests. 

    I can cope with a child quite well on a one on one basis, but I don't think I could sustain that attention on a permanent basis without myself, my partner, my work, my household etc suffering in the long run. Or worse, the child. 

Children
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