As and having children

Thanks for your reply autism2.  I will attempt to explain my post more clearly:

'I know that I don't want children. I am in a relationship and my partner is now OK with this.'

.....stating my own thought and situation....

'I wondered what other people on the spectrum thought about having children. Would they like to have them?'

......my interest in other peoples thoughts and experiences having childeren themselves........

'For myself I find the whole idea totally crazy - I just don't have that feeling to want them. I can only see negatives'.

.....my own feelings again....offering information about myself in the hope that people will tell me a little about themselves....

'Thoughts?'

....Asking people to tell me their own thoughts about themselves and having children.

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Here are the points you made that I should seek and also offer clarification on:

'Jon you will make a good parent'

I am unsure what that is based on? I wouldn't assume that someone would make a good or bad parent without first knowing more information.

'Aspergers may be a factor in the decision but please do not base any decision fully on your aspergers'

I agree, but from this I assumed you thought I had made some sort of decision regarding parenting based on Aspergers. I never stated this. To elaborate - I make decisions based on me and how I feel. There is of course an overlap with feartures of aspergers eg I don't like certain noise but also a feature of my AS is that I am hypersensitive to noise.

'if you love your partner have a family'

I am unsure why you would say this. Does that mean I do not love my partner if I do  not have children? It seems to assume that 'love' is very much linked to having a family. Plenty of people choose not to have children. I would  not ever tell someone to have children or not.

'.....at your age, you may too be too old and set in your own ways'.

I have not wanted children less or more with age.

'Maybe your partner should seek another mate'.

An assumption that my partner wants children? Or that my partner having childern is more imoiortant than the relatuioonship we have together?

'So your comments were just more for declaration but without correlation too AS ?'

They were intended to begin a discussion about peoples feelings towards having children. Not whether I should have children or not.

'Well good for you, you have made your decision and world knows it now and it is nothing to do with AS. As for AS and having children, it is a personal choice, for me not based on AS. AS well, so why ask people ?'

Yes this did upset me. I am trying to cummunicate with people on this forum because I find it so difficult face to face. I appreciate you opinions but find your criticism of me difficult. 

'I just feel you are talking in two different contexts, talking about Aspergers and having children, but retracting that AS has an implication in your own decision, but seeking about information from us relating to AS and having children, I just don't get it ?'

I have not retracted 'that AS has an implication' as I never stated it.

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gosh, that was a bit long winded but I felt I owe it to you to explain as best I can...

Scorpion0x17 said:

I mean that I think autismtwo is reading more into your mentioning having children and AS in the same question than there is, and you're reading more into his questioning of that than there is.

I get that. I was wondering what sentences exactly were leading to the misunderstandings and how they were misinterpreted.

Thanks for your reply autism2.  I will attempt to explain my post more clearly:

'I know that I don't want children. I am in a relationship and my partner is now OK with this.'

.....stating my own thought and situation....

'I wondered what other people on the spectrum thought about having children. Would they like to have them?'

......my interest in other peoples thoughts and experiences having childeren themselves........

'For myself I find the whole idea totally crazy - I just don't have that feeling to want them. I can only see negatives'.

.....my own feelings again....offering information about myself in the hope that people will tell me a little about themselves....

'Thoughts?'

....Asking people to tell me their own thoughts about themselves and having children.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here are the points you made that I should seek and also offer clarification on:

'Jon you will make a good parent'

I am unsure what that is based on? I wouldn't assume that someone would make a good or bad parent without first knowing more information.

'Aspergers may be a factor in the decision but please do not base any decision fully on your aspergers'

I agree, but from this I assumed you thought I had made some sort of decision regarding parenting based on Aspergers. I never stated this. To elaborate - I make decisions based on me and how I feel. There is of course an overlap with feartures of aspergers eg I don't like certain noise but also a feature of my AS is that I am hypersensitive to noise.

'if you love your partner have a family'

I am unsure why you would say this. Does that mean I do not love my partner if I do  not have children? It seems to assume that 'love' is very much linked to having a family. Plenty of people choose not to have children. I would  not ever tell someone to have children or not.

'.....at your age, you may too be too old and set in your own ways'.

I have not wanted children less or more with age.

'Maybe your partner should seek another mate'.

An assumption that my partner wants children? Or that my partner having childern is more imoiortant than the relatuioonship we have together?

'So your comments were just more for declaration but without correlation too AS ?'

They were intended to begin a discussion about peoples feelings towards having children. Not whether I should have children or not.

'Well good for you, you have made your decision and world knows it now and it is nothing to do with AS. As for AS and having children, it is a personal choice, for me not based on AS. AS well, so why ask people ?'

Yes this did upset me. I am trying to cummunicate with people on this forum because I find it so difficult face to face. I appreciate you opinions but find your criticism of me difficult. 

'I just feel you are talking in two different contexts, talking about Aspergers and having children, but retracting that AS has an implication in your own decision, but seeking about information from us relating to AS and having children, I just don't get it ?'

I have not retracted 'that AS has an implication' as I never stated it.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

gosh, that was a bit long winded but I felt I owe it to you to explain as best I can...

Scorpion0x17 said:

I mean that I think autismtwo is reading more into your mentioning having children and AS in the same question than there is, and you're reading more into his questioning of that than there is.

I get that. I was wondering what sentences exactly were leading to the misunderstandings and how they were misinterpreted.