I feel like an alien

Hi! I can relate to this - I've referred to myself as an alien for most of my life, long before I knew I was autistic. It sounds like a difficult situation with the neighbour- I always find it hardest when the other person means well but I cannot cope with it / feel overwhelmed. It would be sad if this stopped you from going outside though. I presume you do not know her very well so explaining to her about your autism might be a bit too much? But maybe you can prepare a few words you can say to explain that you don't have time to talk today? I'm sure she understands that people don't always have time to talk and that could give you a polite way out of having to make conversation- maybe that could help? 

For me the easiest way to cope with feeling like an alien has been to surround myself with other aliens that I connect to - ie find people with shared interests etc that you connect to. It can be so hard to find such people though. 

I also feel sad about finding social situations so difficult, especially when it should be something nice- for example recently my colleagues from work organised a surprise birthday party for me which was super kind but I couldn't cope and it took me over a week to recover. I really like some of my colleagues at work but I still cannot bring myself to sit down with them as a group and have lunch with them or even just sit with them (I tried but it is too much for me). I worry they think that I don't like them or don't want to spend time with them which isn't the case- I did explain to one of them eventually about the autism and why I find it so difficult to join- but I don't feel comfortable sharing that information with people that I do not know well- I need to trust someone to tell them about me being autistic. 

I am now moving on to a new workplace and for the first day they have organised a dinner and drinks out together after work which is causing me massive anxiety as I cannot cope and will be overwhelmed already from meeting so many new people for my first day- it makes me feel weird as it is a very nice gesture to want to welcome me but I don't know how to cope. I'm sorry, I don't think I can help much, I just want you to know that you are not alone! 

That sounds so much like me and reminds me of how I was when in the workplace.

I no longer work but when I did I used to get so anxious about work social events. I couldn't understand why my colleagues seem to talk endlessly about them and why they actually seemed to look forward to them. I dreaded going, just overhearing their conversations would result in surging anxiety for me. I forced myself to go, as back then I didn't know I was autistic and I thought they would get easier the more I went to. I was wrong and they didn't get any easier. My colleagues would also talk endlessly about the event for days and weeks afterwards, while I just wanted to forget everything about that unpleasant experience. Looking back I wish I hadn't forced myself to go.

The changes arising from a new job and meeting new people are likely to be extremely overwhelming, even beyond your first day. It used to take me months to process the change and adapt to a new workplace environment. Trying to cope with an evening social event on top of a new environment would be far too much. Can you decline the evening invitation? Continually trying to push yourself beyond your limits can only end badly.

That sounds so much like me and reminds me of how I was when in the workplace.

I no longer work but when I did I used to get so anxious about work social events. I couldn't understand why my colleagues seem to talk endlessly about them and why they actually seemed to look forward to them. I dreaded going, just overhearing their conversations would result in surging anxiety for me. I forced myself to go, as back then I didn't know I was autistic and I thought they would get easier the more I went to. I was wrong and they didn't get any easier. My colleagues would also talk endlessly about the event for days and weeks afterwards, while I just wanted to forget everything about that unpleasant experience. Looking back I wish I hadn't forced myself to go.

The changes arising from a new job and meeting new people are likely to be extremely overwhelming, even beyond your first day. It used to take me months to process the change and adapt to a new workplace environment. Trying to cope with an evening social event on top of a new environment would be far too much. Can you decline the evening invitation? Continually trying to push yourself beyond your limits can only end badly.