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I feel like an alien

autisticAlienfairy

I just moved into new apartments and I have a neighbor who lives above me. Everytime I walk out my back door to take my dog out, she's on her patio and just starts talking to me.  I hate being autistic because I think she's trying to be nice, but It just startles and overwhelms the crap out of me. Now I just have an another reason to stay inside. I wish I could make friends "naturally" but it's feels forced and overwhelming. I wish I knew how to act like them

Parents

  • Hi! I can relate to this - I've referred to myself as an alien for most of my life, long before I knew I was autistic. It sounds like a difficult situation with the neighbour- I always find it hardest when the other person means well but I cannot cope with it / feel overwhelmed. It would be sad if this stopped you from going outside though. I presume you do not know her very well so explaining to her about your autism might be a bit too much? But maybe you can prepare a few words you can say to explain that you don't have time to talk today? I'm sure she understands that people don't always have time to talk and that could give you a polite way out of having to make conversation- maybe that could help? 

    For me the easiest way to cope with feeling like an alien has been to surround myself with other aliens that I connect to - ie find people with shared interests etc that you connect to. It can be so hard to find such people though. 

    I also feel sad about finding social situations so difficult, especially when it should be something nice- for example recently my colleagues from work organised a surprise birthday party for me which was super kind but I couldn't cope and it took me over a week to recover. I really like some of my colleagues at work but I still cannot bring myself to sit down with them as a group and have lunch with them or even just sit with them (I tried but it is too much for me). I worry they think that I don't like them or don't want to spend time with them which isn't the case- I did explain to one of them eventually about the autism and why I find it so difficult to join- but I don't feel comfortable sharing that information with people that I do not know well- I need to trust someone to tell them about me being autistic. 

    I am now moving on to a new workplace and for the first day they have organised a dinner and drinks out together after work which is causing me massive anxiety as I cannot cope and will be overwhelmed already from meeting so many new people for my first day- it makes me feel weird as it is a very nice gesture to want to welcome me but I don't know how to cope. I'm sorry, I don't think I can help much, I just want you to know that you are not alone! 

  • in reply to Ann :)

    Aliens on the wrong planet...

    or is it more we are natives on the right planet, but pesky aliens have taken over... 

    Something to think about on a fine sunny sunday Smiley

Reply Children
  • in reply to Autimator

    or alien prison planet, some advanced alien species decignated our planet to be a prison for those considered beyond any hope for redemption, under no circumstances to be allowed to spread on other planets, because of being to dangerous to other intelligent lifeforms

    because we did not develop a hive mind, they didn't consider us conscious in a first place (idea from Ender's Game)

    so they sentenced allistic for eternity here, and now we are stuck together forever