• Replies 14 replies
  • Subscribers 36 subscribers
  • Views 4139 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

I feel like an alien

autisticAlienfairy

I just moved into new apartments and I have a neighbor who lives above me. Everytime I walk out my back door to take my dog out, she's on her patio and just starts talking to me.  I hate being autistic because I think she's trying to be nice, but It just startles and overwhelms the crap out of me. Now I just have an another reason to stay inside. I wish I could make friends "naturally" but it's feels forced and overwhelming. I wish I knew how to act like them

Parents

  • I'm the same. I moved to a new house. I really wanted to try to make an effort with my neighbours but I spoke to both neighbours once only, and the conversation was awkward and I felt like an alien.

    I can't do small talk. Afterwards I can usually think of things I should have said, but in the moment my mind is blank and I'm concentrating on a million little details, such as where my hands are, what the position of my facial muscles is, trying to detect hidden meanings or subtext that I might have missed, etc.

    I am stuck in my head trying to think of what I'm supposed to say, but always second guess myself and end up saying nothing out of fear/shame. Too many bad experiences in my past which make me always think I'm going to say something wrong.

    I wish talking to people could just feel natural and not like a stressful cognitive task full of pitfalls and traps.

Reply

  • I'm the same. I moved to a new house. I really wanted to try to make an effort with my neighbours but I spoke to both neighbours once only, and the conversation was awkward and I felt like an alien.

    I can't do small talk. Afterwards I can usually think of things I should have said, but in the moment my mind is blank and I'm concentrating on a million little details, such as where my hands are, what the position of my facial muscles is, trying to detect hidden meanings or subtext that I might have missed, etc.

    I am stuck in my head trying to think of what I'm supposed to say, but always second guess myself and end up saying nothing out of fear/shame. Too many bad experiences in my past which make me always think I'm going to say something wrong.

    I wish talking to people could just feel natural and not like a stressful cognitive task full of pitfalls and traps.

Children
  • in reply to Untoward

    Here is an example of the only conversation I had with one of my neighbours:

    Her: Hello

    Me: Hello

    Her: Settling in OK?

    Me: Yes

    Her: Not seen much of you.

    Me: No

    *Pause of about 10 seconds*

    Me: Goodbye

    I felt terrible about that. They must think I am unfriendly or very weird. The neighbour on the other side told me he got on very well with the previous people here and were always helping each other out. I feel like he must be very disappointed to have me as a neighbour.