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How to explain to my son that he has an autism diagnosis

NAS81204

Hi,

I'm new to this site so am sorry as I imagine my question has been discussed a lot.

My 13 year old son has been given a diagnosis of autism (he has ADHD too) and I am struggling to understand how to explain this to him in a way that he will understand and not to worry him or sound negative.

He struggles to access any emotions or feelings so I have to use very basic and factual detail. Please could you help me with your stories and any tips you may have for what I should say to him.

Many thanks in advance

  • I would recommend  a book Different Like Me and a video on youtube - search Newsround Autism, as well as slipping in info /drip[ feeding info on other ASD role models eg Elon Musk, Bill Gates, Greta Thunberg, so ASD becomes less negative.  I would suggest taking it slowly, as its a process and can take a few years to accept.  

    I am now tutoring (including online tutoring) ASD pupils.  I have run ASD provisions in a similar role to a SENCO for over 20 years and home schooled my son. [Removed by Moderator due to breaking rules 7 and 2 of the Online Community. More info here: https://community.autism.org.uk/p/rules].

  • in reply to Martin

    Thanks Martin - yes we have a list of famous people to show him that he's in good company. Thank you for the idea

  • Hello, you may find it useful to choose tips from these videos to help explain autistic identity and ways of being.

    https://youtu.be/GOTdEi9_SI4

    https://youtu.be/KY_si7rGpDY

    https://youtu.be/hU8xEH5yRnA

    Being autistic means we have a different nervous system- we have our own way of doing everything (this is really cool!). We have our own way of communicating and socialising, experiencing emotions and the sensory world. Our senses also affect the way we focus - when we are really interested in something we hyper focus. 

    This short explanation is only a starting point but hopefully it will help you explain autistic experience to your son and understand what it means for him.

    Like you say you don’t want your son to have any negative connotations with being autistic, so it is really important to emphasise that he is part of an amazing autistic community. It may just be easier to explain being autistic is a different way of being human.

    What are his interests? You could start a conversation by asking him about his interests and what they mean to him because dedicated interests are at the basis of autistic identity.

    I hope this reply helps you and your son understand what it means to be autistic.

  • Though it is impossible to make post-mortem diagnoses it might be worth pointing out that he has something in common with: Isaac Newton, Charles Darwin, Albert Einstein, Mozart, Michelangelo and Picasso, all of whom showed autistic traits. People with autism diagnoses include: Elon Musk, Anthony Hopkins, Daryl Hannah and Dan Aykroyd.