Memory problems.

I constantly find myself unable to remember important details in my personal life. It's not all the time, but enough of the time to make a siginificant impact on my relationships. For example my wife might tell me that she has an important event at work that day, or that she has had a nasty headache. It's not that those things don't touch me, or that I'm so remote I don't care. But an hour later I simply won't remember. That can be incredibly hurful to other people. I've resorted to making a note in my phone to ask later about those things. When I do this, it usually works really well. To be honest people close to me accept this compromise well. In as much as that though they'd prefer me to remember and find it hard to understand why events important in their life can't just be remembered, they can live with this. However, there are times when I don't function at the level of remebering to put that note in my phone. That's harder to accept, which I get. It must feel like there's a simple explanation and I haven't bothered to do even that. I'm at a complete loss to explain why there are times when even this simple strategy seems out of reach. Is there anybody who's experienced similar things? If so, how did you cope with that?

Any suggestion gratefully accepted.

Phil

Parents
  • I have struggled with memory my whole life too. I can also seriously relate when you say that important things are forgotten about relating to people you care about- I do this too and am very aware of the hurt that this causes. Like you, my loved ones understand, but I’d love to be able to do what you describe too. It’s not like I don’t care, quite the opposite in fact, but I just can’t seem to contain the info or retrieve it in a timely manner. I do wonder, for me at least, if it’s because I’m having to actually think through the processes that many people don’t have to consciously think about when doing (e.g. following a conversation, putting thoughts to one side, breaking routines etc) and therefore there often isn’t room for those memories.

    I’d never thought about setting alarms though. This is something that I might try myself. I know you’re wanting to wait away from them, but it might also be a good starting place for me.

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  • I have struggled with memory my whole life too. I can also seriously relate when you say that important things are forgotten about relating to people you care about- I do this too and am very aware of the hurt that this causes. Like you, my loved ones understand, but I’d love to be able to do what you describe too. It’s not like I don’t care, quite the opposite in fact, but I just can’t seem to contain the info or retrieve it in a timely manner. I do wonder, for me at least, if it’s because I’m having to actually think through the processes that many people don’t have to consciously think about when doing (e.g. following a conversation, putting thoughts to one side, breaking routines etc) and therefore there often isn’t room for those memories.

    I’d never thought about setting alarms though. This is something that I might try myself. I know you’re wanting to wait away from them, but it might also be a good starting place for me.

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