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Memory problems.

monkeyface Phil

I constantly find myself unable to remember important details in my personal life. It's not all the time, but enough of the time to make a siginificant impact on my relationships. For example my wife might tell me that she has an important event at work that day, or that she has had a nasty headache. It's not that those things don't touch me, or that I'm so remote I don't care. But an hour later I simply won't remember. That can be incredibly hurful to other people. I've resorted to making a note in my phone to ask later about those things. When I do this, it usually works really well. To be honest people close to me accept this compromise well. In as much as that though they'd prefer me to remember and find it hard to understand why events important in their life can't just be remembered, they can live with this. However, there are times when I don't function at the level of remebering to put that note in my phone. That's harder to accept, which I get. It must feel like there's a simple explanation and I haven't bothered to do even that. I'm at a complete loss to explain why there are times when even this simple strategy seems out of reach. Is there anybody who's experienced similar things? If so, how did you cope with that?

Any suggestion gratefully accepted.

Phil

  • burnout does random deletion of memories, for me it's mostly vocabularies, so I revert to being unable to express myself

    and disables all methods/ adjustments you invented to make your life easier/better

    after recovery you must install new software 

    Stuck out tongue

    to spare me thinking and remembering I sent myself messages into the future, text messages/emails, so I get it when I need to do that thing it tells me to do

  • I have struggled with memory my whole life too. I can also seriously relate when you say that important things are forgotten about relating to people you care about- I do this too and am very aware of the hurt that this causes. Like you, my loved ones understand, but I’d love to be able to do what you describe too. It’s not like I don’t care, quite the opposite in fact, but I just can’t seem to contain the info or retrieve it in a timely manner. I do wonder, for me at least, if it’s because I’m having to actually think through the processes that many people don’t have to consciously think about when doing (e.g. following a conversation, putting thoughts to one side, breaking routines etc) and therefore there often isn’t room for those memories.

    I’d never thought about setting alarms though. This is something that I might try myself. I know you’re wanting to wait away from them, but it might also be a good starting place for me.

  • I have problems with memory too. I think in my case it's to do with my hyper-focused attention, it is literally out of sight out of mind for me.

    If someone tells me to remember 3 things, I end up remembering one in detail and the other two in much less detail, or I'll remember two in detail and forget the third completely. For example if I had to remember to dust the living room, do the washing up, and clean the toilet, I'll recall that as dust the living room, do something in the kitchen, do something in the bathroom. Or I'll remember to dust the living room, do the washing up and not be able to recall cleaning the toilet. Yet as soon as I see the person again or something external jogs my memory, it all comes back to me clear as day.

    I've found that paper todo lists don't really work for me, I end up forgetting to look at them. I recently installed a PIM/Calendar/Reminder app on my phone which I've found helps, I've set up repeating reminders for just about everything. I use separate sounds for different things, for example I have a bell sound to remind me to take my medication, a different sound to remind me to do the housework, another sound for appointment reminders, etc...

    Now if only I could learn how to not procrastinate when I get a reminder, I might actually be able to get stuff done. 

    I've tried explaining this to other people but they never seem to get it, presumably because they're taking for granted the ability to recall things at will without needing to be prompted. Only advice I can give with respect to remembering to put notes in your phone is do it while the conversation is happening or immediately after before you turn your attention to something else. Also ask people if they can send you a reminder text a couple of days before if it's an appointment/meeting.

  • That sounds really annoying. My memory is terrible, comes and goes, always forgetting so many things like names, dates, where I am. Frustrating when it happens. I put it down to anxiety but may just be asd. Try writing things down or recording your voice to try and remember things, I do this sometimes and it has helped me to remember different things.

  • I have pitch-perfect long term memory, but constantly forget basic words.