Feeling more isolated as you grow older.

Does any one feel more isolated as they grow older?

From a personal point of veiw I just can't seem to go where I want to go in life. I'm feel totaly isolated for numerous reasons, some in part that I just don't fit in with anyone no matter how much I try. Secondly because I struggle to conform, and that just makes people run a mile. Thirdly I was raised on a really deprived council estate (although I was lucky enough to have working parents and not in that boat), but my intellectual level is higher that the people I knew from childhood, but I don't seem to get a long with academics or wealthier people.

I feel completely adrift from the rest of world, and this feeling seems to grow stronger with age. I sometimes wonder about ending it all, but I don't really feel depressed or ar least I don't understand I feel depressed. 

In many ways I feel like I can't be bothered walking against the wind but spending the last year trying not to do such. I've shaved of my hair that was below my shoulder blades, I've shaved off my beard that had about 11" of growth, I've lost three stone. I've stopped enjoying recreational alcohol consumption. I've started teeth grinding and have consistend mouth sensations as a result. I feel persicuted from all angles of political thought, I just see them all as variations of right wing extremists.

Sorry for blurb. Just needed a moan.

Parents
  • Hi Goatworshiper, you've compelled me to make my first post. I understand the feeling of isolation. I've struggled all my life with social interaction, not knowing why, until my recent diagnosis on the ASD spectrum at 42. 

    Part of the problem for me is actually needing and enjoying being alone, a huge relief from years of having to mask my symptoms in order to get on in the world. Unfortunately  the chaotic working world does not agree with me, previous attempts at working have resulted in me making purposeful yet unsuccessful suicide attempts. The last being 2 yrs ago when my mother passed away after an intense battle with lung cancer, my support was gone, part of me died. So I thought a jump into The Thames would resolve that. Another unsuccessful attempt. I do fear for the future. 

    Ultimately though, I think we are all survivors, us people on the spectrum. I find Facebook has been a lifeline for me. It's much easier to appear ordinary online (I hesitate to say normal) 

    My closest friends have been very understanding since my diagnosis, and now understand why I cancel attending social events at the last minute. In truth I never know if I can handle it until I wake up on the day and a switch has been flicked in my head that says either yes or no (as a result of severe anxiety and depression)

    Im also on antidepressants (escitalopram) which I hope to get off soon, the trigger being the NHS announcing a link to heart problems. As The Verve once sang, the drugs don't work..

Reply
  • Hi Goatworshiper, you've compelled me to make my first post. I understand the feeling of isolation. I've struggled all my life with social interaction, not knowing why, until my recent diagnosis on the ASD spectrum at 42. 

    Part of the problem for me is actually needing and enjoying being alone, a huge relief from years of having to mask my symptoms in order to get on in the world. Unfortunately  the chaotic working world does not agree with me, previous attempts at working have resulted in me making purposeful yet unsuccessful suicide attempts. The last being 2 yrs ago when my mother passed away after an intense battle with lung cancer, my support was gone, part of me died. So I thought a jump into The Thames would resolve that. Another unsuccessful attempt. I do fear for the future. 

    Ultimately though, I think we are all survivors, us people on the spectrum. I find Facebook has been a lifeline for me. It's much easier to appear ordinary online (I hesitate to say normal) 

    My closest friends have been very understanding since my diagnosis, and now understand why I cancel attending social events at the last minute. In truth I never know if I can handle it until I wake up on the day and a switch has been flicked in my head that says either yes or no (as a result of severe anxiety and depression)

    Im also on antidepressants (escitalopram) which I hope to get off soon, the trigger being the NHS announcing a link to heart problems. As The Verve once sang, the drugs don't work..

Children
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