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Feeling more isolated as you grow older.

Goatworshiper

Does any one feel more isolated as they grow older?

From a personal point of veiw I just can't seem to go where I want to go in life. I'm feel totaly isolated for numerous reasons, some in part that I just don't fit in with anyone no matter how much I try. Secondly because I struggle to conform, and that just makes people run a mile. Thirdly I was raised on a really deprived council estate (although I was lucky enough to have working parents and not in that boat), but my intellectual level is higher that the people I knew from childhood, but I don't seem to get a long with academics or wealthier people.

I feel completely adrift from the rest of world, and this feeling seems to grow stronger with age. I sometimes wonder about ending it all, but I don't really feel depressed or ar least I don't understand I feel depressed. 

In many ways I feel like I can't be bothered walking against the wind but spending the last year trying not to do such. I've shaved of my hair that was below my shoulder blades, I've shaved off my beard that had about 11" of growth, I've lost three stone. I've stopped enjoying recreational alcohol consumption. I've started teeth grinding and have consistend mouth sensations as a result. I feel persicuted from all angles of political thought, I just see them all as variations of right wing extremists.

Sorry for blurb. Just needed a moan.

Parents

  • In a way I feel more isolated but in some ways no. I am 40 and have a partner which makes all the difference. It is provides just enough of the social. It has been alot of work though and I don't know if I would be able to do it again. Over the years we have developed a language between ourselves that just about works.

    With reagrd to other friends, I have know people and kept in touch with one high school friend. I havn't made new friends for many years. I know faces and people through my partner and also have a few contacts on FB.

    The things is though I have gone through life and really not much has changed, i have put on an act and socially bumbled along but not really been able to connect or just relax with people.

    The whole thing is complicated by the fact that I really like being on my own, independent and therefore isolated.

    • Do I want to meet new people? - no it is unpleasant, difficult and I'd rather be doing something else.
    • Would it be good for me to have a good frienship network with people I felt relaxed with? yes, probably.

    Muckworm said:

    I have planes to hopefully move and make a fresh start but I know I will always be alone, it becomes a way of life for the autistic I think.

    You may or may not always be alone. You have support on this forum for a start.

    Goatworshipper - it does get worse with age as I am finding out, and I think that is in part due to loss of confidence because as things go wrong, I become more introverted and shy. Also I think my autism is worsening with age and my routines are becoming more cast iron.

    I can relat to that. I have tried, put on a front, tried again, fooled myself and others but it all wears a bit thin and I don't have it in me to keep on doing the same. Routines however are n ot such a bad thing - depending on the content. For me they are reassurance and focus that actually make me operate better. Over the years I have developed what works for me - I am still working on it.

    And yes, there are days I do consider ending it, I think we all do, but as yet I haven't.

    I can relate to this too. Are you diagnosed with depression? For me I think it is maybe my circumstances that make it worse.

    Social ineractions become less through bad experiences and motivation. In turn lack of experience and practise means reduced social skills.

Reply

  • In a way I feel more isolated but in some ways no. I am 40 and have a partner which makes all the difference. It is provides just enough of the social. It has been alot of work though and I don't know if I would be able to do it again. Over the years we have developed a language between ourselves that just about works.

    With reagrd to other friends, I have know people and kept in touch with one high school friend. I havn't made new friends for many years. I know faces and people through my partner and also have a few contacts on FB.

    The things is though I have gone through life and really not much has changed, i have put on an act and socially bumbled along but not really been able to connect or just relax with people.

    The whole thing is complicated by the fact that I really like being on my own, independent and therefore isolated.

    • Do I want to meet new people? - no it is unpleasant, difficult and I'd rather be doing something else.
    • Would it be good for me to have a good frienship network with people I felt relaxed with? yes, probably.

    Muckworm said:

    I have planes to hopefully move and make a fresh start but I know I will always be alone, it becomes a way of life for the autistic I think.

    You may or may not always be alone. You have support on this forum for a start.

    Goatworshipper - it does get worse with age as I am finding out, and I think that is in part due to loss of confidence because as things go wrong, I become more introverted and shy. Also I think my autism is worsening with age and my routines are becoming more cast iron.

    I can relat to that. I have tried, put on a front, tried again, fooled myself and others but it all wears a bit thin and I don't have it in me to keep on doing the same. Routines however are n ot such a bad thing - depending on the content. For me they are reassurance and focus that actually make me operate better. Over the years I have developed what works for me - I am still working on it.

    And yes, there are days I do consider ending it, I think we all do, but as yet I haven't.

    I can relate to this too. Are you diagnosed with depression? For me I think it is maybe my circumstances that make it worse.

    Social ineractions become less through bad experiences and motivation. In turn lack of experience and practise means reduced social skills.

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