does anyone else sometimes doubt they're autistic?

You timed this question well for me, as I had a great big anxiety attack about this earlier. Not my first. But I think its just a natural part of imposter syndrome and no two autistic people are exactly alike.

What happened was I was on here, saw a thread about the AQ  50 in ehich someone said they’d been on the edge of a positive. It suddenly made me remember that before my diagnosis id had a similar result from some sort if online  test. A slightly blunter tool I think.

Then it made me remember that  id filled in a much more thorough questionnaire as part of my assessment. But then I realised that its results weren’t formally included in the diagnostic report. Im 90% sure I was told in the zoom call in which diagnosis confirmation was first made thst the questionnaire had also been in alignment with the ADOS 2 and the other two interview sessions but I started  forensically going back through the report this afternoon, desperate to find something in print about that one element. As I did so, the panic subsided. Everything else in there collectively added up to a clear picture and I got my heart rate back under control. Crucially (something I hope reassures you), there were several  ‘does not display trait X’ type statements alongside the ‘does display trait  Y’ type ones. But there was enough overall to tick boxes in each of the key DSM5 areas required. 

What you’ve described sounds similar to me. Within specific tight parameters over short periods,  I don’t think Im even masking a lot. And can even enjoy conversation with the right person, with reduced hyper -awareness and more  balanced social reciprocity because I’m not in flight or fight or overstimulation mode. God only knows what some of those people make of my autism diagnosis because in a surface way in those narrow parameters Im outwardly (and somewhat inwardly )  fine. But Ive also had other oeople say ‘that makes sense’ about my diagnosis. And it only takes a tipping point in the number of people in a conversation,  a slightly altered context, an off handedly triggering phrase (invisibly catastrophic to me on the inside) or similar to make me remember with certainty that the diagnosis is correct. That my environment overwhelms and disables me, unpredictably, outside of a limited repertoire of scenarios. And my masking (and a sense of accelerating panic as I either clam up or ramble on unpredictability with no self control) goes to 11.  I imagine its the same for you too.

we mustnt feel guilty when we’ve functioned just fine in one kind of encounter with a known and trusted person. The rest of your history and future doesnt vanish into smokd because of it. Give it five minutes, an hour, an afternoon and your doubts will fade, replaced with  certainty. 

You timed this question well for me, as I had a great big anxiety attack about this earlier. Not my first. But I think its just a natural part of imposter syndrome and no two autistic people are exactly alike.

What happened was I was on here, saw a thread about the AQ  50 in ehich someone said they’d been on the edge of a positive. It suddenly made me remember that before my diagnosis id had a similar result from some sort if online  test. A slightly blunter tool I think.

Then it made me remember that  id filled in a much more thorough questionnaire as part of my assessment. But then I realised that its results weren’t formally included in the diagnostic report. Im 90% sure I was told in the zoom call in which diagnosis confirmation was first made thst the questionnaire had also been in alignment with the ADOS 2 and the other two interview sessions but I started  forensically going back through the report this afternoon, desperate to find something in print about that one element. As I did so, the panic subsided. Everything else in there collectively added up to a clear picture and I got my heart rate back under control. Crucially (something I hope reassures you), there were several  ‘does not display trait X’ type statements alongside the ‘does display trait  Y’ type ones. But there was enough overall to tick boxes in each of the key DSM5 areas required. 

What you’ve described sounds similar to me. Within specific tight parameters over short periods,  I don’t think Im even masking a lot. And can even enjoy conversation with the right person, with reduced hyper -awareness and more  balanced social reciprocity because I’m not in flight or fight or overstimulation mode. God only knows what some of those people make of my autism diagnosis because in a surface way in those narrow parameters Im outwardly (and somewhat inwardly )  fine. But Ive also had other oeople say ‘that makes sense’ about my diagnosis. And it only takes a tipping point in the number of people in a conversation,  a slightly altered context, an off handedly triggering phrase (invisibly catastrophic to me on the inside) or similar to make me remember with certainty that the diagnosis is correct. That my environment overwhelms and disables me, unpredictably, outside of a limited repertoire of scenarios. And my masking (and a sense of accelerating panic as I either clam up or ramble on unpredictability with no self control) goes to 11.  I imagine its the same for you too.

we mustnt feel guilty when we’ve functioned just fine in one kind of encounter with a known and trusted person. The rest of your history and future doesnt vanish into smokd because of it. Give it five minutes, an hour, an afternoon and your doubts will fade, replaced with  certainty.