Published on 12, July, 2020
Does anyone else have difficulty with knowing what they look like, or how they feel? It sounds weird, but I noticed that I rely on other peoples views on what I look like a lot. I was trying to buy a foundation and an assistant helped me. In the shop I was convinced it matched like she said. I tried it on at home and it looks too dark now, but I'm not sure. I was looking at my face and I just can't tell. Without peoples opinions on things I feel like there isn't much there. I know some people use that against me to manipulate me sometimes, but it takes a while for me to realise that. When I was younger I had a different hairstyle every months as people would tell me what would look good. It took me a while, but then I realised I didn't like being treated like a doll. This is a confused ramble, but does anyone know what I mean? My sense of self is so weak, I feel like I can be convinced of anything by anyone to the point of needing their direction. \part of me knows it shouldn't be like that.
I think its kind of seeking validation in what you look like. Maybe something to do with lack of confidence amd wanting to fit in maybe? Im a bloke and not much help im afraid. I barely look in the mirror to be honest, except when i cut my own hair.
When i wad younger, i was convinced everyone was staring at me and judging everything. The truth is no one really cares. I know its hard but, just but what you like as your choices are what makes you up.
It's not about looking good, exactly. It's hard to explain.