Struggling!

Thanks to all 3 of you for taking the time to reply. 

One year before he was due to start college I contacted both Connexions and our local LA and we had a meeting. The LA said that they did not think he needed a S139 and the college could cope perfectly well. I wasn't happy about this so managed to get a blank S139 and completed it myself (as his educator for the previous 8 years). The college accepted this and it has been his 'working document'.

As the pressure has increased, and therefore the stress, obviously his needs have increased alongside.

I asked in March this year for the S139 to be updated via the college but nothing was done. I have since asked for a 1:1 support worker for him (via Autism Wessex) including collection from home and to be with him all day etc amounting to around  £18000 for the year coming. The LA have agreed (by phone with me) that anything the college ask for WILL be funded as they have been working from a S139 already so there is no question as to whether the LA would fund (albeit that GP's letters and his own evidence statement must be sent in also). Connexions have said that the LA do not wish them to complete a new S139.

Where the problem lies is in whether the college have this week submitted a bid to the LA for this 1:1 support worker funding and even if they have whether all of next years tutors will abide by what the support workers job (decided by my son and Autism Wessex) will need to be. This MUST include travel to and from, helping him organise 8 tutors emails, taking notes and attending off-site visits etc.

The main reason why he has become so distressed (apart from feeling alone and unsupported there) is that he has had non-stop difficulites with getting all of these new tutors to understand why he needs to ask non-stop questions about timetables, room numbers, who will be there, and whether this, that or the other is ok.

He now feels that even if the 1:1 support worker is with him then the staff will still make life incredibly hard for him. 

I suppose what I'm wondering is:

Firstly, if they have not submitted a bid to the LA for the whole sheebang and just asked for some TA support do I bother fighting them for what we believe is the right amount of support? Even though I'm unsure whether he will cope at all?

And : Would the college HAVE to accept whatever Autism Wessex and my son deem to be the way it will work or can the college refuse some aspects of the support worker if they feel so inclined?

(I'm thinking as an example: he wants to email all the new tutors individually any questions that come up. The course manager (a woman who shall remain nameless) has said that he is to email her, SHE will decide what questions are JUSTIFIED and then send on those only! With no further details of how he will know what has been sent or not and no other information as to how any replies will be sent back to him. This is making him so anxious its unreal).

So.... if they say yes, have a support worker but we do not agree to them overseeing your emails and you must use the pattern the course tutor wants he won't be able to cope. But I'm really not sure how much power I have here?

In answer to some of the original questions, there is no other college withing 40 miles that does the same course, he won't try any other meds, he hasn't YET done anything to himself but it may be only a matter of time, there is no other way of gaining this particular qualification. 

The meeting on Mon 10th June is with the Vice Principle plus loads of others no doubt to help me feel particularly out numbered and I just feel that I need to know exactly what his rights are before I go in there. But am I just going to alienate the course tutor even further by being just another 'neurotic Mum'.

I do think that if someone could spend the time to really convince him that they are on his side then we may be able to get through this. However, I'm pretty convinced that the new course manager has already decided that as he is academically able then the rest of his problems are due to bloodymindedness not ASD.

(What amounted to 40 A4 pages of emails went back and forth to try and get some lesson-shadowing and an off-site visit arranged so that he could sample the course work because the course tutor kept trying to persuade him to do things differently. i.e the offsite visit was by mini-bus, he gets claustrophobia in any enclosed space and a mini-bus overloaded with chattering students for more than 20mins is an absolute no-no. This year we have been fine meeting his course tutor and students at the venue by car. She went over and over why he couldn't manage it, declined 2 reasonable adjustments I offered and then said that it just wasn't appropriate).

He has also been given 20 days of work experience as a condition of getting a place on this course whilst we know that others already on the course this year were not even though they too had no previous experience.

I can't believe that this is still going on 10 years nearly after leaving the system.

Any more thoughts would be most appreciated and apologies for the length of this.

Thanks to all 3 of you for taking the time to reply. 

One year before he was due to start college I contacted both Connexions and our local LA and we had a meeting. The LA said that they did not think he needed a S139 and the college could cope perfectly well. I wasn't happy about this so managed to get a blank S139 and completed it myself (as his educator for the previous 8 years). The college accepted this and it has been his 'working document'.

As the pressure has increased, and therefore the stress, obviously his needs have increased alongside.

I asked in March this year for the S139 to be updated via the college but nothing was done. I have since asked for a 1:1 support worker for him (via Autism Wessex) including collection from home and to be with him all day etc amounting to around  £18000 for the year coming. The LA have agreed (by phone with me) that anything the college ask for WILL be funded as they have been working from a S139 already so there is no question as to whether the LA would fund (albeit that GP's letters and his own evidence statement must be sent in also). Connexions have said that the LA do not wish them to complete a new S139.

Where the problem lies is in whether the college have this week submitted a bid to the LA for this 1:1 support worker funding and even if they have whether all of next years tutors will abide by what the support workers job (decided by my son and Autism Wessex) will need to be. This MUST include travel to and from, helping him organise 8 tutors emails, taking notes and attending off-site visits etc.

The main reason why he has become so distressed (apart from feeling alone and unsupported there) is that he has had non-stop difficulites with getting all of these new tutors to understand why he needs to ask non-stop questions about timetables, room numbers, who will be there, and whether this, that or the other is ok.

He now feels that even if the 1:1 support worker is with him then the staff will still make life incredibly hard for him. 

I suppose what I'm wondering is:

Firstly, if they have not submitted a bid to the LA for the whole sheebang and just asked for some TA support do I bother fighting them for what we believe is the right amount of support? Even though I'm unsure whether he will cope at all?

And : Would the college HAVE to accept whatever Autism Wessex and my son deem to be the way it will work or can the college refuse some aspects of the support worker if they feel so inclined?

(I'm thinking as an example: he wants to email all the new tutors individually any questions that come up. The course manager (a woman who shall remain nameless) has said that he is to email her, SHE will decide what questions are JUSTIFIED and then send on those only! With no further details of how he will know what has been sent or not and no other information as to how any replies will be sent back to him. This is making him so anxious its unreal).

So.... if they say yes, have a support worker but we do not agree to them overseeing your emails and you must use the pattern the course tutor wants he won't be able to cope. But I'm really not sure how much power I have here?

In answer to some of the original questions, there is no other college withing 40 miles that does the same course, he won't try any other meds, he hasn't YET done anything to himself but it may be only a matter of time, there is no other way of gaining this particular qualification. 

The meeting on Mon 10th June is with the Vice Principle plus loads of others no doubt to help me feel particularly out numbered and I just feel that I need to know exactly what his rights are before I go in there. But am I just going to alienate the course tutor even further by being just another 'neurotic Mum'.

I do think that if someone could spend the time to really convince him that they are on his side then we may be able to get through this. However, I'm pretty convinced that the new course manager has already decided that as he is academically able then the rest of his problems are due to bloodymindedness not ASD.

(What amounted to 40 A4 pages of emails went back and forth to try and get some lesson-shadowing and an off-site visit arranged so that he could sample the course work because the course tutor kept trying to persuade him to do things differently. i.e the offsite visit was by mini-bus, he gets claustrophobia in any enclosed space and a mini-bus overloaded with chattering students for more than 20mins is an absolute no-no. This year we have been fine meeting his course tutor and students at the venue by car. She went over and over why he couldn't manage it, declined 2 reasonable adjustments I offered and then said that it just wasn't appropriate).

He has also been given 20 days of work experience as a condition of getting a place on this course whilst we know that others already on the course this year were not even though they too had no previous experience.

I can't believe that this is still going on 10 years nearly after leaving the system.

Any more thoughts would be most appreciated and apologies for the length of this.