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Struggling!

mumski

Hi everyone. 

New here but not to ASD. Out of ideas and nowhere else to look. Any input would be most helpful on the following.......

Teenage son, ASD, 18 at college this last year back in education after being removed and home-ed for 8 years due to self-harming and extreme anxiety. He was so looking forward to a brand new experience in college, promised the earth and yet within three months a complete bag of nerves, struggling big time with getting the college on board and accepting his 'way of doing things'. By Easter on meds for the first time ever for anxiety and now had to go part-time for the last few weeks.

Crazily he is desperate to continue with his studies (gained a Distinction* the best they've ever had on this current course dispite everything) onto the next level and we've asked for a 1:1 support worker to be employed this time to support him much better. (Hoping this will happen).

The thing is... he is now so terrified that this year will go the same way and is now talking about it all going wrong every single day - non-stop. I have a background in psychology and run a support group myself so no stranger to all the general methods of trying to ease his anxieties but I simply can't get through to him that this time it will hopefully be different (she says).

This course will be the last and the most valuable to him economically, there is no pressure on him to go and he wants to attend but very much on his terms. I'm concerned that if he does go and this awful mindset continues he will suffer beyond what anyone should yet if he doesn't go then he will feel as though he has failed and will become a NEET statistic as full time work will not be possible for him.

Counselling is a 6 mth waiting list and we've seen here that others are sent away with  'we don't know how to help ASD teenagers with anxiety as CBT doesn't work' just piled on the scrap heap and there are no funds for private therapy.

Two minds to just take control and say that's it you are not going as he feels so ill now that he says he can't make any decisions at all. Yet next week I have a big meeting to go to where I'm supposed to be asking for the LA to pay for a support worker that I don't even know if he will tolerate (they will have to be so on the ball its scary).

I would so like him back off of medication and happy as he was before he ever went back into education (last week he spoke of how hurting himself would at least releive the pain he is feeling) and GP just offering to up the dose of meds to control the shaking and sleeplessness!

I just don't know how else to help him and I'm very, very concerned for him.

Any new ideas? Anyone at all?

Parents

  • Hi mumski,

    So sorry to hear that you're having a bad time but have you looked into Connexions for help. The local council is responsible, usually through Connexions to do a Learning Difficulty Assessment. This will help to identify any educational etc needs your son may have. 
      

    They have to do it in accordance with Section 139A/140 Learning and Skills Act 2000 and Section 80 Education and Skills Act 2008.

     

    It is voluntary and the college doesn't have to follow it but it's a statutory document.  

     

    From here or otherwise I would seriously look into social services to do an assessment as he is 18+ 

    In here you can discuss support needed for him from daily living to socialising etc. The only thing is that he might need to meet the council's eligibility criteria. Having said that, as it's a human right to have an access to an education; they and/or the college cannot ignore it and need to provide some support somehow.

     

    The assessment is a long process and even still to get any meaningful support but it is something to look at.


      

    Also you might want to discuss a Carer's Assessment for yourself. If your son gets to higher education the picture should be a little better there. 

     

    I hope some of what I've said helps Smile

    urspecial

Reply

  • Hi mumski,

    So sorry to hear that you're having a bad time but have you looked into Connexions for help. The local council is responsible, usually through Connexions to do a Learning Difficulty Assessment. This will help to identify any educational etc needs your son may have. 
      

    They have to do it in accordance with Section 139A/140 Learning and Skills Act 2000 and Section 80 Education and Skills Act 2008.

     

    It is voluntary and the college doesn't have to follow it but it's a statutory document.  

     

    From here or otherwise I would seriously look into social services to do an assessment as he is 18+ 

    In here you can discuss support needed for him from daily living to socialising etc. The only thing is that he might need to meet the council's eligibility criteria. Having said that, as it's a human right to have an access to an education; they and/or the college cannot ignore it and need to provide some support somehow.

     

    The assessment is a long process and even still to get any meaningful support but it is something to look at.


      

    Also you might want to discuss a Carer's Assessment for yourself. If your son gets to higher education the picture should be a little better there. 

     

    I hope some of what I've said helps Smile

    urspecial

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