In limbo between autistic / non autistic

nukefusion said:

sometimes when you look at the past under a different lens things become clearer

Autism would definitely explain a lot of awkward situations I've found myself in in the past. fingers crossed something happens soon regarding assessment. good luck to you too.

Dawn said:

I'd treat yourself "as if", 'cos you probably are

That's interesting, I must admit I am getting fed up of adding.."if I am autistic" to the end of discussions regarding autism with my partner. I don't feel I can commit to being autistic until its officially diagnosed. I've always got the thought at the back of my mind ...but what if i'm not? 

thanks for the welcome Billy. 

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Hi, I don't have any real advice, just wanted to say that I am in a similar situation, awaiting a full autism assessment after going through a pre-screening assessment. I have a child diagnosed with autism within the last couple of years and started to realise I exhibit many behaviours and that maybe the many seemingly insurmountable problems I've had since childhood are as a result of autism. Maybe speaking to people that know you well and that you trust might help you in working through it? I had an enlightening conversation with my wife recently when she told me she had a chat with her mother years ago where she said she thought I might have autism or something due to how I would react in certain situations. She never thought to tell me at the time, but sometimes when you look at the past under a different lens things become clearer. Best of luck in your journey.

Had my assessment now, but remember that feeling.

If it's any consolation, research is showing that those who self-identify tend to be right. While you wait, I'd treat yourself "as if", 'cos you probably are, do the youtubing  question asking here and reading and see how you can start to figure out a way forward.

You’re welcome :) 

Welcome. I hope you find this community as helpful as i have. As other people have said you dont need to keep pushing yourself or deliberatley limit yourself, just do what you feel up to each day and dont try and do more than that. Doesnt matter what anyone else says or expects of you, all that matters is what you feel able to do

It sounds like you could be on the spectrum, but you will probobly get to know that for sure in your mind before your assesment. The assessment is not the be all and end all.

Its intresting you saw yourself in the Christine McGuinnes documentary, I havnt seen that but ive read a bit about her. I first started thinking of it when I started working in a school with autistic children and I noticed how like me they were 

I think your right. Most of us dont actually need the diagnosis to tell us we are autistic. We already know. Im still waiting for mine but to me it is irrelevant, I know I am

I think a lot of us here do the all or nothing thing. I always seem to be one extreme or the other on most things

Kate Kestrel said:

This community is great - very friendly and supportive and a great source of non-judgemental advice. You will find a good welcome here.
You are not alone :)  

This is really nice to learn.  I'm very new to talking to people who may listen to me and give fair advice.  Thank you Kate.

Thanks Peter. I think you're right... Perhaps that's my all or nothing thinking kicking in. 

A couple of places have been recommended to me where the emphasis seems to be on people being more accepting of differences in each other... Whether they are autistic or not. 

LostGUY said:

I don't know whether I should keep pushing myself to try to overcome my difficulties in the neurotypical world or seek to limit my social interactions.

May I humbly suggest nether. In my experience the most successful approach has been finding pockets of society that are tolerant of non neurotypical behaviour. Although to be frank if personal experience is anything to go by this gets harder as you get older.

Yes - I think you have the right approach. Good luck :) 

Thanks for the reply Kate. 

Got to admit autism never really crossed my mind until watching the Cristine McGuiness documentary in the UK. A lot of the things she said rang true for me, masking, restricted food, no friends, ect. When I did an AQ test I was surprised how high I scored. What really got me thinking was when a therapist who specialises in autism asked me if I had considered it, this was completely unprompted by myself. 

As for the lack of support, I'm prepared for the fact that there seems to be no official support. Hopefully things will improve over time and peer support like on here will keep growing. If I am confirmed autistic, hopefully I will eventually except myself more and learn to go easier on myself, and not see myself as being defective because I can't fit in with Neurotypical people/ ways.  

I sometimes think they tell people it’s 2-3 years wait for an assessment to put people off from trying to get one! Mine has been quicker than that, and I’ve heard many say it’s quicker. They might contact you sooner than you expect. I think most people instinctively realise they are autistic before they attempt to get an assessment. The information is readily available so I suspect for many people it’s as much confirmation of what they already know in many ways. 
I think the bigger challenge is finding ways to manage the challenges that being autistic presents us with. The label itself doesn’t really help on that score, The diagnosis doesn’t really bring any support when you’re an adult either. 
The lack of support means we basically have to help ourselves - if we can. 

This community is great - very friendly and supportive and a great source of non-judgemental advice. You will find a good welcome here.
You are not alone :)