Feeling like a failure

I’ve had a difficult few months and recently I’ve felt like such a failure. I’ve been thinking about my life and all the struggles I’ve had just to cope with normal life - stuff that so many other people seem to breeze through and cope really well with - and I’ve just had this awful overwhelming feeling today of feeling like such a failure. I know now that much of my struggle with day to day life is due to me being autistic (and also my childhood with parents who were very flawed and emotionally distant) and most of the time I try to be positive. But these last couple of weeks I’ve found myself experiencing a lot of self hatred and feeling like such a failure.

I realise this sounds like self pity - and maybe it is! I don’t want to be thinking like this and I know it’s self destructive. 
But how do other autistic people come to terms with the fact that they’ve spent their lives struggling so much with day to day life, and living with a lot of anxiety etc? When I was younger I think I felt better about myself - I enjoyed being different and unique. But now I find myself looking at other people who have had more conventionally ‘successful’ lives and friendships and feeling like a failure in comparison. I think being autistic has made life very difficult for me. 

How do other people come to terms with being accepting of these sorts of thoughts and feelings? And how do you keep positive about the way being autistic has impacted on your ability to really engage with life and achieve things? 

I want to be more positive but am struggling today. Does anyone else sometimes feel this way? And how do you deal with it? 

Parents
  • Hello, I hope you are feeling brighter and more positive now? Unfortunately negative thoughts and feelings can often creep in and leave us feeling this way. This happens to me a lot of the time. It can be overwhelming and exhausting. I think all you can do is tell yourself you are not a failure and that these thoughts and feelings are 100% wrong!

    When I feel this way I put on my favourite upbeat song or play a fun song on my guitar or piano. Or I look through my positive journal which is basically a book about all the positive things I've done and have happened to me. Doing that helps me ever so much. It could be something good for you to do also possible. 

    Life with autism and anxiety is difficult and people without autism have no idea. I wish more understood the difficulties we face. We obsess a lot and I find myself obsessing over my flaws and noticing others who aren't as flawed. 

    But like all things this passes. Sometimes it takes a while but it will always pass.

    I hope things pass and get easier for you. I am thinking of you and wishing you the best.

  • That’s really kind of you Alice - thank you. Your words mean a lot Pray

    I really do hope it passes. For anyone else on here who is struggling very much at the moment: you are not alone. I wish things were easier for all of us that are having dark days at the moment. They say that ‘the darkest hours come just before the dawn’ - I hope it’s true. xxxx 

Reply
  • That’s really kind of you Alice - thank you. Your words mean a lot Pray

    I really do hope it passes. For anyone else on here who is struggling very much at the moment: you are not alone. I wish things were easier for all of us that are having dark days at the moment. They say that ‘the darkest hours come just before the dawn’ - I hope it’s true. xxxx 

Children
  • That’s typically kind and compassionate of you Kate. much appreciated. Technically it’s darkest at the exact midpoint between sunset and sunrise, but where’s the poetry in that?! And transcendental truths (or hopes) are more important than literal ones of course! 

  • You are welcome I hope I helped you feel a bit more positive today. Just remember and tell you it will get better and these feelings and thought will not be forever. Everything passes it just takes time.

    I leave this with you I hope it brighten you up :)