Verbal abuse and disrespect from my daughter

My 9 year old has High functioning autism and is angry most of the time. She speaks to me like dirt on most occasions especially if she doesn't get her own way.

She will openly call me and her father and brother a' ***'  she is rude, and vulgar to the point I don't want to take her anywhere.

Can anyone relate and give me some advice on handling this behaviour? I miss having a loving relationship with my child because she shows me nothing but disrespect and anger. I continue to show her love and patience and understand. I have set boundaries and consequences but they do not work. 

I've tried so many strategies and am learning more about autism every day.

I don't understand why she feels the need to treat me so badly most of the time?

I feel completely helpless and that I'm failing her 

Any help/ anyone in similar situation I would love to hear from you 

Thanks 

Parents
  • Hi Sue,

    We are in  exactly the same situation, and it is absolutely awful. I feel everything you are saying, and it is so, so hard for us. We do everything we can to relieve stress on our daughter and help her, but we get abuse from the moment she wakes up. She attacks us, and injures us, and is verbally abusive in everything she says. We understand she is anxious and that makes her attack, but we're only human and our spirit is completely broken. It's like we're victims of domestic violence but we can't choose to leave. I appreciate that might sound hurtful to autistic people on the thread, and we love our daughter more than anything. I'm wondering, since this thread is two years old, if things are better now? And if there was anything in particular which helped? We are desperate to not be attacked. 

Reply
  • Hi Sue,

    We are in  exactly the same situation, and it is absolutely awful. I feel everything you are saying, and it is so, so hard for us. We do everything we can to relieve stress on our daughter and help her, but we get abuse from the moment she wakes up. She attacks us, and injures us, and is verbally abusive in everything she says. We understand she is anxious and that makes her attack, but we're only human and our spirit is completely broken. It's like we're victims of domestic violence but we can't choose to leave. I appreciate that might sound hurtful to autistic people on the thread, and we love our daughter more than anything. I'm wondering, since this thread is two years old, if things are better now? And if there was anything in particular which helped? We are desperate to not be attacked. 

Children
No Data