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Verbal abuse and disrespect from my daughter

Suzi

My 9 year old has High functioning autism and is angry most of the time. She speaks to me like dirt on most occasions especially if she doesn't get her own way.

She will openly call me and her father and brother a' ***'  she is rude, and vulgar to the point I don't want to take her anywhere.

Can anyone relate and give me some advice on handling this behaviour? I miss having a loving relationship with my child because she shows me nothing but disrespect and anger. I continue to show her love and patience and understand. I have set boundaries and consequences but they do not work. 

I've tried so many strategies and am learning more about autism every day.

I don't understand why she feels the need to treat me so badly most of the time?

I feel completely helpless and that I'm failing her 

Any help/ anyone in similar situation I would love to hear from you 

Thanks 

Parents

  • Hi Suzi, individuals on the spectrum can often display behaviour that may be challenging. There will generally be a reason for this and it is important to try and understand the trigger for the behaviour when developing strategies. You may like to have a look at the following link for more information on behaviour and strategies: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour 

    You may be interested in seeking some professional support regarding the behaviour. You can search for professionals in your area we are aware of on the Autism Services Directory: https://www.autism.org.uk/directory 

     You might also like to take a look at The Challenging Behaviour Foundation website for further information and advice: https://www.challengingbehaviour.org.uk. They also have an information and support service which you can contact by phone or email – details can be found here: https://www.challengingbehaviour.org.uk/for-family-carers/family-support-service/ 

    Hope that is useful,

    SarahMod

  • in reply to SarahMod

    Hi Sarah, 

    I just wanted to inform you that the National Autism Society directory is seriously lacking in a lot of areas outside of the major cities across the United Kingdom. In many cases the information on the directory are often wrong and outdated.

    Many of the organisations have even closed or change what they do for autistic individuals. some of the contact information is wrong. What is even scarier is that a lot of what i would consider dangerous organisations are making their way onto the directors.

    A lot of the advice across multiple web pages on the National Autism Society website are being misinterpreted by a lot medical professionals who don't specialise in Autism or neurologically typical parents of autistic children and it is causing significant harm to autistic children and adults.

    I have also noticed that the misinterpretation of information on National Autism Society website is being used deny benefit claimants access to benefits.  

    Is it possible as a moderator for the National Autism Society community page you could bring up these key issues to someone at the National Autism Society.

    What i would also appreciate if the information presented on the website had information of who the author is so we can understand where the information is being presented by either an autistic individual or a professional in their respected field.

    Yours thankful 

    Blue.    

Reply
  • in reply to SarahMod

    Hi Sarah, 

    I just wanted to inform you that the National Autism Society directory is seriously lacking in a lot of areas outside of the major cities across the United Kingdom. In many cases the information on the directory are often wrong and outdated.

    Many of the organisations have even closed or change what they do for autistic individuals. some of the contact information is wrong. What is even scarier is that a lot of what i would consider dangerous organisations are making their way onto the directors.

    A lot of the advice across multiple web pages on the National Autism Society website are being misinterpreted by a lot medical professionals who don't specialise in Autism or neurologically typical parents of autistic children and it is causing significant harm to autistic children and adults.

    I have also noticed that the misinterpretation of information on National Autism Society website is being used deny benefit claimants access to benefits.  

    Is it possible as a moderator for the National Autism Society community page you could bring up these key issues to someone at the National Autism Society.

    What i would also appreciate if the information presented on the website had information of who the author is so we can understand where the information is being presented by either an autistic individual or a professional in their respected field.

    Yours thankful 

    Blue.    

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