Managing a house move for an adult with Aspergers

Memories have life. Physical objects are key to memories and a feeling of continuity. Physical objects and locations anchor us to the past, and the future, not nessiceraly the future we got but maybe the one we wanted. Regret and happiness are linked.

I'm guessing your son has a lot of regrets about the way his youth turned out. About the places he never went, things he never did. One his bedroom is gone it's one less link to those old dreams. Yet for all its regrets I'm suspect it was likely a happier time for him. It's like ... not only has the world robbed him of the chance to achieve these simple dreams but it won't even let him keep his ties to those memories that help him keep those dreams alive in some from. Because thinking about all the girls you've never kissed and all the adventures you never had is bitter sweet. It reminds you that there was at least a time when you had some expectation that there were going to be adventures, and girls for that mater. To him it probably seems like life won't even let him escape into the happy memories. Because the good times are in the past but the regrets of the past live in the present with you. As long as you still wish for that world you thought you'd see when you were young those regrets will always be with you.

There is no solution here. No good advice I can give you. Regret, regret that lives with you every day, crushes a mans soul and reversing it is often the only solution. Loosing points of connection to the past before those regrets is not the wound, just rubbing salt into the wound.

You can help perhaps by recording everything. The state of the room, photographically, carefully storing everything in it to make sure nothing goes astray. But nothing can change the fact that when its gone he can no longer sit in it and imagine he's 14 again and trying to figure out how to get the girl in his class to go out with him or dreaming about impressing his friends by performing some sort of impossible jump on a bicycle. I don't know what sort of life your son hoped to build for him self when he sat in that room as a boy or what experiences he thought he'd have on the way, but I'm betting it didn't work out that way for him. Not even remotely. When that room goes its going to be like a physical manifestation of that lost time drifting away. 

Memories have life. Physical objects are key to memories and a feeling of continuity. Physical objects and locations anchor us to the past, and the future, not nessiceraly the future we got but maybe the one we wanted. Regret and happiness are linked.

I'm guessing your son has a lot of regrets about the way his youth turned out. About the places he never went, things he never did. One his bedroom is gone it's one less link to those old dreams. Yet for all its regrets I'm suspect it was likely a happier time for him. It's like ... not only has the world robbed him of the chance to achieve these simple dreams but it won't even let him keep his ties to those memories that help him keep those dreams alive in some from. Because thinking about all the girls you've never kissed and all the adventures you never had is bitter sweet. It reminds you that there was at least a time when you had some expectation that there were going to be adventures, and girls for that mater. To him it probably seems like life won't even let him escape into the happy memories. Because the good times are in the past but the regrets of the past live in the present with you. As long as you still wish for that world you thought you'd see when you were young those regrets will always be with you.

There is no solution here. No good advice I can give you. Regret, regret that lives with you every day, crushes a mans soul and reversing it is often the only solution. Loosing points of connection to the past before those regrets is not the wound, just rubbing salt into the wound.

You can help perhaps by recording everything. The state of the room, photographically, carefully storing everything in it to make sure nothing goes astray. But nothing can change the fact that when its gone he can no longer sit in it and imagine he's 14 again and trying to figure out how to get the girl in his class to go out with him or dreaming about impressing his friends by performing some sort of impossible jump on a bicycle. I don't know what sort of life your son hoped to build for him self when he sat in that room as a boy or what experiences he thought he'd have on the way, but I'm betting it didn't work out that way for him. Not even remotely. When that room goes its going to be like a physical manifestation of that lost time drifting away.