Activities for an young autistic person who isn’t sure what to do

Suggestions of projects that I use to keep myself occupied during my gap year (I don't think I got quite as deep as your son but there have definitely been periods where I was suffering from lack of activity which was causing a further spiral), some may or may not help him but it's a range of option and some may click with him or you:

- Doing programming courses. In my case this was python. I did a future learn and udacity beginner programme course and then did loads of problem solving on things like Hackerrank (much more innocent than the name suggests) it was really fun and is a very useful skill to have

- Doing some supercurricular stuff. I'm fairly maths obsessed, and my sixth form didn't offer all of the further maths modules I wanted so I spent some time self studying this stuff. While this specifically may not be suitable, there may be some other stuff around it, or maybe a private research project similar to an EPQ but less formalized, or maybe with the structure if it's beneficial for him.

- Music! all the music. I don't know whether he already plays an instrument, or is interested in music, but whether he does or not, practicing a certain song or peice or maybe learning a new technique can be a really good occupation.

- Making stuff. Having physical evidence of having made something with your own hands can be really cool. My favourite types of this is yarn work, so sewing, crochet, lacemaking kind of stuff. But art, clay, painting, gardening, woodwork, weaving, whatever takes your fancy, can be great

- Kind of similar to the last one. Cooking. I love technical cooking, especially when following recipes, but giving it a go isn't a bad thing. Especially when watching videos and cooking, I get to keep in touch with my mild obsessions with various series, and cook delicious stuff. As I often forget to eat, my love of cooking can be really important for ensuring that I'm well fed too.

- Joining a club, in small doses. Hear me out here. I find social situations incredibly triggering, but they are very important to ensure I don't lose all of my hard won faking it skills. And I found activities that do very small groups, and are quite niche, so there aren't constantly new people and there are usually no more than 10 people. For me, that is dog agility, dog obedience and renaissance dancing. Renaissance dancing is probably the biggest group, but it is very structured and I can go hide or sit out if I need to which helps on the rare occasions I do get overwhelmed. The other two can never have more than 4 dogs so no more than 8 people and usually only 5, so very small and having a dog to cuddle helps too. Maybe your son could find some kind of structured group that could help form a bit of a set routine, and at least a motivation to get out of be which I'm aware can be super hard.

- Walking is cool. Walking into areas you've never been usuing a map is also very cool. I love map reading, although I know it's not for everyone, and feel a lot more secure in knowing that I can walk on footpaths everywhere I need to go in an emergency (sixth form to home, shop to home, nearest city to home, as I'm quite rural these tend to be at least 2 hours walk one way so they're good time users)

I hope this has given some ideas and even if none of them suit your son, you or he may be inspired to think of another ideas

I hope he finds something that can catch his interest and continues his recovery

Thank you so much Fibonacci Squid for this wonderful reply - I hugely appreciate your thoughtful and very helpful suggestions. So much here to think about - so many positive suggestions, so many of which I haven’t already considered. It’s so helpful and so kind of you to take the time to reply. You’ve obviously developed excellent skills of self help in this regard. This is just what myself and my youngest son need (we are both autistic - as are my eldest and my husband). As an autistic mother I can relate to my son’s struggles but as I am very similar to him I often struggle to ‘think outside the box’ when it comes to strategies to help him cope with his depression and anxiety issues. When we are both struggling we get quite stuck. We are very isolated and don’t have much support. This is one of the reasons why I so appreciate this community - there is so much understanding and support on here - it’s so helpful. 

Your ideas are great and I will ask him if he thinks he might like to give any of them a go. Thank you so much

Thank you so much Fibonacci Squid for this wonderful reply - I hugely appreciate your thoughtful and very helpful suggestions. So much here to think about - so many positive suggestions, so many of which I haven’t already considered. It’s so helpful and so kind of you to take the time to reply. You’ve obviously developed excellent skills of self help in this regard. This is just what myself and my youngest son need (we are both autistic - as are my eldest and my husband). As an autistic mother I can relate to my son’s struggles but as I am very similar to him I often struggle to ‘think outside the box’ when it comes to strategies to help him cope with his depression and anxiety issues. When we are both struggling we get quite stuck. We are very isolated and don’t have much support. This is one of the reasons why I so appreciate this community - there is so much understanding and support on here - it’s so helpful. 

Your ideas are great and I will ask him if he thinks he might like to give any of them a go. Thank you so much

Hi Ann, thanks for these suggestions- they’re really helpful. I hadn’t heard of Coursera or Boardgamearena - they both look really interesting. I will investigate! I also hadn’t thought of origami. And the planning a walk idea is also excellent - we go on lots of walks but I tend to mostly plan them and I think I could encourage my son to get more involved in the planning of them, and choosing locations and routes etc. He’s feeling depressed at the moment and one of his biggest problems is motivation - so it’s hard to get him to take on anything that requires a lot of engagement and concentration for him - which I totally understand. It’s a bit of a vicious circle in many ways (and one I am familiar with myself too).  Small steps will help though - and your ideas are so helpful - thank you so much for sharing them. 

Hi Kate, 

I can relate to the difficulty of finding a meaningful activity to do that is not related to work/studying. I am actually also currently looking for a new hobby that I can do when I am not working - I am very goal orientated so for me it is important that whatever I am doing has some kind of purpose (usually I love sports related stuff but injured at the moment). Fibonacci Squid has made a great list, so I am not sure I can add much to it.

If your son loves walking, maybe planning some day hikes or even a weekend or longer backpacking trip could be nice? There is also the Duke of Edinburgh award if he is into outdoor stuff, though I personally found the group dynamics on those trips difficult and I find it more relaxing to plan my own trips. I find planning walking trips is a very positive activity as there is a lot of fun planning and packing involved and you have something nice to look forward to. 

Doing something with animals might also be nice. I used to like being with horses a lot, though that is quite specialised but someone recently suggested that you can volunteer for example to walk other people's dogs. Not sure if that would be something your son would like? 

In terms of online courses Coursera used to have lots of free courses that he could maybe try? Though that would be more academic. 

Also to transition away from mainly watching stuff and using the iPad it might be nice to for example do an activity while watching or listening to something- like a jigsaw puzzle. Also to mix things up I sometimes like to play board games online on https://boardgamearena.com/ . You can play lots of games for free and it might not be the most meaningful activity but it is low effort and might be nice to change things up. 

Or maybe something more arts and crafts related? Painting/drawing was never for me but I used to like folding origami- not sure if that would appeal to your son but it's a very easy, low cost activity to get into- he could just get one pack of origami paper and maybe start of with some youtube videos and if he likes it get an origami book. I did this a lot in the past and it's a nice challenge and there is a lot of scope for learning and working your way up towards being able to fold more difficult models- it also is quite a calming activity (at least for me) and you end up with a nice end product (hopefully ;) ). 

I really hope your son finds something he enjoys!!