How do you find your happiness

I like gaming but I haven't got anything to play on 

Also, not sure this is the best advice, but if I'm feeling suicidal I tell myself that suicide is the easy way out and that if I really hate myself as much as I claim, I will force myself to live through the pain of living. Not proud of it but that's my last resort thought and it does help me.

Hi, I haven't worked out a fool proof way to deal with depression. Some things that help me are listening to a playlist of all the good songs. Looking at videos of the sea or flowers (I love Gardner's World because Monty Don's voice is really chill) And sometimes I just accept that I feel low and get into bed (if I have time) and just wait it out telling myself that it will pass, sometimes an event like dinner or sleep is enough of a pivot point for me to bring myself out of it (not always though) 

My main advice would be "pack the parachute in advance" so put things in place to help you before you feel depressed so you don't have to think about it too much when you are low. And I've heard that doing things that make you feel good every day is a good way to keep yourself in a better frame of mind so that your are less likely to slip into depression often.

Hope your days get easier to deal with

I sharpen my axe, humming tunelessly...

I can relate to you and Cullpepper... the lack of energy and motivation, and a feeling that if I could go back in time (knowing what I now know), I probably would have done things differently.

I feel you. Talking to my mum helps me when I'm in a dark place but it doesn't fix the problem. I've not found a solution yet. Still looking. Since I got sick it's worse and like you I find myself sitting at home, lacking the energy and drive to do things. Like I should really do some cleaning but at the moment I'm just sat down typing this and browsing the web. Sending you hugs I hope things get better for you :) 

If I could go back I'd definitely do things differently as well.

That’s exactly what I do, I only have one person who I share all my deepest thoughts with. The first time I blurted out when having a meltdown , he came back with good help and advice. He then told me that he is autistic. We have some amazing conversations which in my opinion can only happen between two autistic people. Obviously only my opinion.

I wish i knew the answer to that, i can't really remember the last time i was was truly happy. There are so many jobs that need doing around the house, even simple cleaning up, and yet more and more i'm spending time just sitting on the couch, wishing i had someone to talk to. Someone other than the bus driver or checkout girl at Tesco, to say good morning to.

If only i could go back in time and live my life again, knowing what i know nowm i'd do things so differently.

Good question. Visiting my mums grave and talking things through with her really helps me. It gets things off my chest. Talking helps so many people. I call Samaritans as well sometimes and that helps a lot, just being heard and listened to. But talking to mum is the biggest help, she was and still is my rock.

That's a good question. A few months ago I suffered the worst bout of depression I'd had in years and found that talking to a close friend about how I was feeling really helped. I'm currently on the verge of another bout, but have found coming on here to be a good distraction.