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Does anyone else hate it when people say "everyone's on the spectrum"?

Liv
over 11 years ago

Hi everyone,

I've been feeling really low lately and something that hasn't helped is the subject matter of a class debate we had the other day. We began to talk about autism and Asperger's Syndrome, and this popular girl who has no communication or social difficulties whatsoever (in fact one of her many gifts is that she makes everyone love her) says, "Everyone's on the spectrum, it's just to what extent. My cousins are autistic, so I know." 

And...I know we're all entitled to our own opinions and beliefs. And it's not like that was the first time I had ever heard this theory, and to be quite honest, I'm not the most severely Asperger's person in the world. In fact, you'd probably say I had it quite mildly - particularly if you were an adult meeting me, as adults seem to bring out the best in me in a way that my peers can't. But when I saw her sitting there and just saying that, surrounded by all her friends kissing up to her and agreeing with her, whilst she'd just been going on about the party she was off to the next day, and the gig she was going to soon with another girl on our table, I just wanted to say, "OK. So you believe everyone's got autism. You try living a day in my life - seeing everyone make friends around you whilst you're left completely alone, no matter how hard you try. You try knowing you're different ever since you're old enough to think, and then tell me everyone's on the spectrum, because I think you might feel differently then. You've got no idea how lucky you are! I'd give anything to be accepted and supported by everyone like you are."

Now, I know she doesn't mean that everyone is autistic or AS to the point of diagnosis. She just means that we've all got little tendencies here and there. But, though I wouldn't say it to her or any of the kids at school as it makes me sound like I'm just making trouble or feeling sorry for myself or using any excuse to have a big, dramatic, overemotional reaction, I found it really difficult to hear that from her, and in my personal opinion it's actually quite an insensitive thing to say to/in front of someone with any form of autism. (She does know I have AS, and she says she believes it's true but I don't think she does - none of the others do.)

Am I being out of order? 

Thanks for reading, 

Liv x

Parents
  • over 11 years ago

    I have two relatives with MS and they are at very different stages of the illness. One is wheelchair bound and relies on carers for toiletting and dressing etc. The other can work part-time and care for themselves. Same illness, different degrees of disability. That is a bit how I see being on the Autism spectrum.

    Believe me, people can be just as insensitive about MS. The 'I know someone with MS who just climbed Everest/bungee jumped in South Africa/ran the Marathon get just as tedious as the inane comments people make about Autism.I think people just don't know what to say or how to react.

    I agree with 280JJ that teenagers are particularly insensitive, but also very insecure themselves. Even those who appear to be popular/have it all are often plagued by self-doubt. I heard someone talking recently about how when they were part of the 'in crowd' they spent all their time worrying about how to stay in the in-crowd.

    My son used not to be bothered about socialising. Now he is, and has discovered just how fickle so-called NT teenagers can be. In fact he seems much more mature than his peers.

     

Reply
  • over 11 years ago

    I have two relatives with MS and they are at very different stages of the illness. One is wheelchair bound and relies on carers for toiletting and dressing etc. The other can work part-time and care for themselves. Same illness, different degrees of disability. That is a bit how I see being on the Autism spectrum.

    Believe me, people can be just as insensitive about MS. The 'I know someone with MS who just climbed Everest/bungee jumped in South Africa/ran the Marathon get just as tedious as the inane comments people make about Autism.I think people just don't know what to say or how to react.

    I agree with 280JJ that teenagers are particularly insensitive, but also very insecure themselves. Even those who appear to be popular/have it all are often plagued by self-doubt. I heard someone talking recently about how when they were part of the 'in crowd' they spent all their time worrying about how to stay in the in-crowd.

    My son used not to be bothered about socialising. Now he is, and has discovered just how fickle so-called NT teenagers can be. In fact he seems much more mature than his peers.

     

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