Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone,
I've been feeling really low lately and something that hasn't helped is the subject matter of a class debate we had the other day. We began to talk about autism and Asperger's Syndrome, and this popular girl who has no communication or social difficulties whatsoever (in fact one of her many gifts is that she makes everyone love her) says, "Everyone's on the spectrum, it's just to what extent. My cousins are autistic, so I know."
And...I know we're all entitled to our own opinions and beliefs. And it's not like that was the first time I had ever heard this theory, and to be quite honest, I'm not the most severely Asperger's person in the world. In fact, you'd probably say I had it quite mildly - particularly if you were an adult meeting me, as adults seem to bring out the best in me in a way that my peers can't. But when I saw her sitting there and just saying that, surrounded by all her friends kissing up to her and agreeing with her, whilst she'd just been going on about the party she was off to the next day, and the gig she was going to soon with another girl on our table, I just wanted to say, "OK. So you believe everyone's got autism. You try living a day in my life - seeing everyone make friends around you whilst you're left completely alone, no matter how hard you try. You try knowing you're different ever since you're old enough to think, and then tell me everyone's on the spectrum, because I think you might feel differently then. You've got no idea how lucky you are! I'd give anything to be accepted and supported by everyone like you are."
Now, I know she doesn't mean that everyone is autistic or AS to the point of diagnosis. She just means that we've all got little tendencies here and there. But, though I wouldn't say it to her or any of the kids at school as it makes me sound like I'm just making trouble or feeling sorry for myself or using any excuse to have a big, dramatic, overemotional reaction, I found it really difficult to hear that from her, and in my personal opinion it's actually quite an insensitive thing to say to/in front of someone with any form of autism. (She does know I have AS, and she says she believes it's true but I don't think she does - none of the others do.)
Am I being out of order?
Thanks for reading,
Liv x
I think we sometimes forget what a 'young' syndrome autism is and the perception of it is constantly changing as a result of research. Until the 1960s it was linked with schizophrenia and until comparatively recently it was believed that women were not affected by Asperger's Syndrome. Even today you can find professionals on the web who believe that there is no such thing as adult autism.
People like Longman and me had no choice but to 'cope' and I think that was probably true of Scorpion also (although I'm struggling to do the math here!).
All my life I've had:
(1) OCD. I can control it now to the extent that I only need three hours from waking until leaving the house and one hour to prepare for bed. When I worked I had to allow for all the time spent checking my work but now I'm retired I'm free from that worry.
(2) Problems going out. I'm always uneasy away from home and the stress increases the longer and further away I am. Again, retiring from work was an enormous help and I now aim to avoid unncessary time away from hom.
(3) Socializing. I'm uncomfortable socializing with more than three other people and happiest one to one. When I can't avoid it I take a deep breath and go but the stress before and during event is only compensated for by the sheer joy when I wake up next morning and realise it's all over.
When people say "I'm a bit like that" or "I know people who are like that" it's may correct - it's simply that they haven't ever been diagnosed. On the other hand, maybe all three of my difficulties are experienced by people not on the spectrum and the difference is in the severity of the problem. Maybe it's the same with bi-polar; many people experience mood swings but it's the severity of those swings which warrant a diagnosis.
To me, though, as someone non-scientific, the idea of an autistic spectrum makes sense, since I visualize a bridge with people at different stages along that bridge according to the severity of their own individual problems. Am I being too simplistic?