Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone,
I've been feeling really low lately and something that hasn't helped is the subject matter of a class debate we had the other day. We began to talk about autism and Asperger's Syndrome, and this popular girl who has no communication or social difficulties whatsoever (in fact one of her many gifts is that she makes everyone love her) says, "Everyone's on the spectrum, it's just to what extent. My cousins are autistic, so I know."
And...I know we're all entitled to our own opinions and beliefs. And it's not like that was the first time I had ever heard this theory, and to be quite honest, I'm not the most severely Asperger's person in the world. In fact, you'd probably say I had it quite mildly - particularly if you were an adult meeting me, as adults seem to bring out the best in me in a way that my peers can't. But when I saw her sitting there and just saying that, surrounded by all her friends kissing up to her and agreeing with her, whilst she'd just been going on about the party she was off to the next day, and the gig she was going to soon with another girl on our table, I just wanted to say, "OK. So you believe everyone's got autism. You try living a day in my life - seeing everyone make friends around you whilst you're left completely alone, no matter how hard you try. You try knowing you're different ever since you're old enough to think, and then tell me everyone's on the spectrum, because I think you might feel differently then. You've got no idea how lucky you are! I'd give anything to be accepted and supported by everyone like you are."
Now, I know she doesn't mean that everyone is autistic or AS to the point of diagnosis. She just means that we've all got little tendencies here and there. But, though I wouldn't say it to her or any of the kids at school as it makes me sound like I'm just making trouble or feeling sorry for myself or using any excuse to have a big, dramatic, overemotional reaction, I found it really difficult to hear that from her, and in my personal opinion it's actually quite an insensitive thing to say to/in front of someone with any form of autism. (She does know I have AS, and she says she believes it's true but I don't think she does - none of the others do.)
Am I being out of order?
Thanks for reading,
Liv x
I'm very uneasy with the idea that there is a clear demarcation point.
And I believe the differences and difficulties we experience are differences of degree, not of nature.
That is the degree to which environmental factors affect us is what marks us out as 'different', not the nature of our being affected.
I am also very uneasy with this idea that if you don't qualify for intervention you can not claim to be on the spectrum.
That would mean that for the best part of 40 years I was not on the spectrum. Because I coped with life. I did ok at school. I went to University. I got a degree. I found a job.
Does any of that mean I did not struggle? That I did not have problems? That my life would not have been greatly improved with a little appropriate help?
Does any of it mean I was not Autistic?!
No. No it does not.
I've struggled every day of my life. I just didn't know that I was any different to anyone else. I believed that everyone else struggled as well, and just somehow managed to cope.
It was only when I reached a point where I absolutely needed help from the medical profession (because of health reasons) that it became apparent to those around me that I needed support. That 'something was up'.
If we ignore the 'spectral' nature of Autism, and how it fits within a wider spectrum of human psycho-physiology, then we impose a life of struggle, loneliness, depression, and despair, upon those that do not fall the right side of our abitrary demarcation points.