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Urgent help needed please

fluffybunny

Hi,

I hope someone can help me, I need some help quickly as I have been summonsed to court this coming Tuesday as my 12 year old ASD daughter has alleged abuse.

I will try and cut a very long story short...

My 12 year old daughter is diagnosed with ASD, she is quite high functioning and in mainstream school with a 23 hour a week statement of special educational needs.

In the last 3 months she has become more and more nasty and abusive towards me, frequently telling me to die.

School not supportive as she is "fine while she's here." her Dad and I are separated, and much of it goes over his head.

Three weeks ago she told me she hated me and was going to go and live at her Dads. She threatened to run away if I didn't let her and again told me to die.

Whether through tiredness or need for respite, I 'gave up' and let her go.

I then got a court summons and a court order served on me preventing me from seeing her.

She has alleged that I have assaulted her badly and have been physically and emotionally abusive. Her Dad is trying to get full residency and a court order to change her school.

I feel utterly sick. I have defended her, stood by her and explained to all the 'autism ignorant' people in her life over and over again. 

Worst still, is that she has encountered children in care since she started high school in September, this never really entered her radar before. She seems to have made emotional sense of this by obsessively reading Jacqueline Wilson books and inventing stories and dramas about what a rubbish parent I am, to her school friends.

I am convinced that she has also been watching Coronation Street at her Dads house and is playing out the storyline with 'Fay.' I don't watch it myself, but a friend pointed out the similaritys.

I am struggling to afford legal help and have spent any money I had getting a solicitor to prepare and attend at court on Tuesday. I need to get this squashed as fast as possible.

Can I ask this community for help please? I have trawled the Internet for a simple description of this type of taking on characters to try and make emotional sense of something, but I'm having no luck and am running out of time.

I know this happens and I thought it was similar to echolalia, but I'm not finding anything specific enough. I need a concise, simple and preferably well researched document from a trusted source to give the solicitor tomorrow for her to present in court.

If anyone could help, I would be so grateful. 

Thank you for reading this and any help anyone can give.

Kate x

Parents

  • Hi,

    Thank you for your advice Justfour.

    I heard of this before and my daughter has many of the traits. 

    I have to go back to court in 4 weeks and in the meantime, my daughter will be appointed a guardian and her own solicitor.

    What I need to do, is to get it across to the court and to her guardian that she has ASD and that this can and does explain her allegations.

    To be honest, I think I'm going to have a hard enough time doing this without putting a comorbid condition into the mix that she isn't diagnosed with.

    Her Dad is also now trying to rubbish the idea that she even has ASD!

    Her school won't communicate with me and have apparently suggested her statement should be reduced!

    Part of me wants to say 'well let him get on with it then!' he'll soon realise how tough lifis can be.

    I'm also actually slightly scared of her now. I miss her terribly (she's refusing to have any contact with me now), but I'm also thinking 'what will she say next?'

    What next time she fancies more attention from her school friends or doesn't get her own way here or the plot on Eastenders is sexual abuse?! 

    Thank you for your advice, I'll certainly mention it to her guardian/court. Thank you too for taking the time to reply. It is hard especially as a single parent. You have to make sure you take time out for yourself if you can.

Reply

  • Hi,

    Thank you for your advice Justfour.

    I heard of this before and my daughter has many of the traits. 

    I have to go back to court in 4 weeks and in the meantime, my daughter will be appointed a guardian and her own solicitor.

    What I need to do, is to get it across to the court and to her guardian that she has ASD and that this can and does explain her allegations.

    To be honest, I think I'm going to have a hard enough time doing this without putting a comorbid condition into the mix that she isn't diagnosed with.

    Her Dad is also now trying to rubbish the idea that she even has ASD!

    Her school won't communicate with me and have apparently suggested her statement should be reduced!

    Part of me wants to say 'well let him get on with it then!' he'll soon realise how tough lifis can be.

    I'm also actually slightly scared of her now. I miss her terribly (she's refusing to have any contact with me now), but I'm also thinking 'what will she say next?'

    What next time she fancies more attention from her school friends or doesn't get her own way here or the plot on Eastenders is sexual abuse?! 

    Thank you for your advice, I'll certainly mention it to her guardian/court. Thank you too for taking the time to reply. It is hard especially as a single parent. You have to make sure you take time out for yourself if you can.

Children
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