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Relationship Help... 'How can you deny her a sibling?'

NAS75030

Hi,

I have been in a long term relationship that is now coming to an end, this was instigated by myself and has then ultimately resulted in me looking at myself and my mental health etc During this process I stumbled upon information about ASD in adults and it just fit and I've gone from there, and currently sit on the waiting list for possible diagnosis. The relationship has been on and off the last year and a half, and we do have a young child together (showing possible signs of also being on the spectrum). I specifically wanted to ask a question about something that has been said to me by my partner/ex partner...

She said 'How can you deny her a sibling?' 

This specific question, obviously like with most questions fired at me unexpectedly I couldn't find the words to answer. I understand she is still hurt and confused by all of this but is this just to make me feel guilt and responsible for denying my own child (who is my world by the way) a sibling and any extra happyness that might bring...even though the relationship isn't working or making us happy anymore. I just found it very confusing as to why ask that and put that on me as I work really hard and always will to make my child happy. This might not be the place to ask and discuss this but I don't reach out and talk much but I feel like I need to, and this is one of the only places I have previously done that. I hope that's ok. Any advice or suggestions on this would be really appreciated, so it's not exclusively rattling round my own head. Thank you so much.

M

Parents

  • Clearly she is upset, and is trying to guilt you into staying, by suggesting this. It’s unfair to you. As if you haven’t got enough in your plate to deal with.

    You have a relationship with your child, and that will always be the case. If your ex wants another child sometime down the road she can. But it’s madness to have a child to try and repair a broken relationship.

    Treat yourself with care, and focus on the task in hand. What you’ve done (deciding to split) is the best decision for you, and no doubt you thought long and hard about it, and examined every angle and possibility. These decisions are never easy, but everything will sort itself out in the end. Just give it time.

Reply

  • Clearly she is upset, and is trying to guilt you into staying, by suggesting this. It’s unfair to you. As if you haven’t got enough in your plate to deal with.

    You have a relationship with your child, and that will always be the case. If your ex wants another child sometime down the road she can. But it’s madness to have a child to try and repair a broken relationship.

    Treat yourself with care, and focus on the task in hand. What you’ve done (deciding to split) is the best decision for you, and no doubt you thought long and hard about it, and examined every angle and possibility. These decisions are never easy, but everything will sort itself out in the end. Just give it time.

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