Grief

Hi my name is Sian and I'm autistic, I have been since I was born and I was officially diagnosed when I was 4. The subject matter is something that has been playing on my mind recently and I hope for some reassurance. I'm just really hoping I'm not the only one. I have recently lost my grandmother, she died in June 2021. I was sad on the day of her death and I was sad at the funeral. But afterwards it's like I've skipped all the stages of grief and gone right to acceptance, it feels like I've got over it already, whereas others in my family are still struggling. It's not that I didn't love her any less but that's what it feels like to me. Please tell me this is normal for autism, I don't want to feel like a heartless robot.

Parents
  • Sorry for your loss. Everybody reacts differently to grief, regardless of whether they're autistic or not. I've dealt with a lot of bereavement over the past few years. Some of the things made me very sad - to the point of being physically ill - some I was sad for a few days and then moved on. Some I thought I had processed and then came back at strange and surprising moments and/or in unexpected ways. I have been criticised for not handling grief in the same way as other people though or for being insensitive, so maybe ASD does play a part in how we grieve or at least how we show our grief. I also think that how we process and what we need during that time might be different to neurotypicals.  

Reply
  • Sorry for your loss. Everybody reacts differently to grief, regardless of whether they're autistic or not. I've dealt with a lot of bereavement over the past few years. Some of the things made me very sad - to the point of being physically ill - some I was sad for a few days and then moved on. Some I thought I had processed and then came back at strange and surprising moments and/or in unexpected ways. I have been criticised for not handling grief in the same way as other people though or for being insensitive, so maybe ASD does play a part in how we grieve or at least how we show our grief. I also think that how we process and what we need during that time might be different to neurotypicals.  

Children
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