I’m not sure if this is what you mean as your question is a bit vague but if someone is upset about something I naturally want to help them by fixing the problem. Problem goes away, person is no longer sad. So I’ll start talking about actions to tackle the issue. What usually goes over my head is the person needing a hug and/or just generally wanting to talk about their feelings in a way that won’t actually make the problem go away because it will still be there so how can you now be happy afterwards? Also have a read about alexithymia, unless I’m ecstatically happy or filled with murderous rage I’m in a neutral mood all of the time. it can take me sometimes a few days to realise if I’m feeling something else, then identify what that feeling is.
PS. I realise you’re asking partners how they approach these issues but I think it would be helpful for you to know the thought processes possibly involved
I’m not sure if this is what you mean as your question is a bit vague but if someone is upset about something I naturally want to help them by fixing the problem. Problem goes away, person is no longer sad. So I’ll start talking about actions to tackle the issue. What usually goes over my head is the person needing a hug and/or just generally wanting to talk about their feelings in a way that won’t actually make the problem go away because it will still be there so how can you now be happy afterwards? Also have a read about alexithymia, unless I’m ecstatically happy or filled with murderous rage I’m in a neutral mood all of the time. it can take me sometimes a few days to realise if I’m feeling something else, then identify what that feeling is.
PS. I realise you’re asking partners how they approach these issues but I think it would be helpful for you to know the thought processes possibly involved
