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shopping what a nightmare!

4littleavengers

Went shopping today and what a nightmare! i knew it would be i warned my daughter all week that sat was going to be shopping day. The trouble started before we even got in the car she kept saying i don't want to go in a loud screaming voice when we eventually  got going harriet decided that she needed the toilet and couldn't wait she screamed i'm going to wee myself so i had to stop at the side of the road. When we got to the shopping centre she ran off refused to hold my hand. Harriet is 5 and i have three other children aged 9,7 and 2 my other children are not perfect but know when to behave . My husband asked her to hold his hand and be a good girl she shouted and started kicking and hitting him. I went into a book shop and harriet layed on the floor pulling the books off the shelfs i try to stay calm and get on her level but its like talking to a brick wall she just grins at me i feel powerless. Harriets not yet been diagnosed but her pediatrician suspects aspergers i end up in tears begging her to behave but its like she just looks straight through me. I love her so much but its hard very draining at the minute i feel like i'm walking around like a zombie. xx

Parents

  • Hi again - yes, anxiety goes with the territory.  I understand how it can be easier to withdraw from activities which cause distress so it's trying to find a way of still doing the things you enjoy as a family.  Would building things up bit by bit help, do you think?  What I mean is that instead of Harriet having to do the whole trip you could break the whole activity down into smaller bits.  Would she cope with getting in the car + having a drive a short distance + then going straight home again if she understood that's all that would happen.  If you did that on the same day + time for maybe 2 or 3 times, then you could add the next bit which might be pulling into the shopping ctre, stopping + then going home again.  Sort of building it up like that until she got in the routine?   I was reading about a women whose little boy would have a meltdown in the supermarket if the exact route, from car into shop + then which aisles they went down was not followed exactly every time.  He also was badly affected by the noise from the freezers.  She had to get all that detail right every time.  I also read of a woman who took her son to the supermarket either 1st thing or much later in the evening when it was quieter.  bw

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  • Hi again - yes, anxiety goes with the territory.  I understand how it can be easier to withdraw from activities which cause distress so it's trying to find a way of still doing the things you enjoy as a family.  Would building things up bit by bit help, do you think?  What I mean is that instead of Harriet having to do the whole trip you could break the whole activity down into smaller bits.  Would she cope with getting in the car + having a drive a short distance + then going straight home again if she understood that's all that would happen.  If you did that on the same day + time for maybe 2 or 3 times, then you could add the next bit which might be pulling into the shopping ctre, stopping + then going home again.  Sort of building it up like that until she got in the routine?   I was reading about a women whose little boy would have a meltdown in the supermarket if the exact route, from car into shop + then which aisles they went down was not followed exactly every time.  He also was badly affected by the noise from the freezers.  She had to get all that detail right every time.  I also read of a woman who took her son to the supermarket either 1st thing or much later in the evening when it was quieter.  bw

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