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shopping what a nightmare!

4littleavengers

Went shopping today and what a nightmare! i knew it would be i warned my daughter all week that sat was going to be shopping day. The trouble started before we even got in the car she kept saying i don't want to go in a loud screaming voice when we eventually  got going harriet decided that she needed the toilet and couldn't wait she screamed i'm going to wee myself so i had to stop at the side of the road. When we got to the shopping centre she ran off refused to hold my hand. Harriet is 5 and i have three other children aged 9,7 and 2 my other children are not perfect but know when to behave . My husband asked her to hold his hand and be a good girl she shouted and started kicking and hitting him. I went into a book shop and harriet layed on the floor pulling the books off the shelfs i try to stay calm and get on her level but its like talking to a brick wall she just grins at me i feel powerless. Harriets not yet been diagnosed but her pediatrician suspects aspergers i end up in tears begging her to behave but its like she just looks straight through me. I love her so much but its hard very draining at the minute i feel like i'm walking around like a zombie. xx

Parents

  • Hi - what a difficult day for all of you.  Do you know why Harriet would be so upset?  If you can work all that out - sensory issues, too many variables in the trip etc?  Whilst we can prepare someone for a change that doesn't mean they'll be anywhere near  comfortable with it!   Quite the opposite sometimes. Sounds like there were too many things for her to cope with.  I don't think Harriet was in a zone where she cd "behave" because it was all just too much stress/anxiety.  Reasoning with an autistic person when they're upset can be seriously counter-productive....making matters worse.  Also treating them as neuro-typical children + expecting a neuro-typical reaction is a total non-starter.  If going shopping causes her + your family so much distress then maybe she shouldn't have to go?

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  • Hi - what a difficult day for all of you.  Do you know why Harriet would be so upset?  If you can work all that out - sensory issues, too many variables in the trip etc?  Whilst we can prepare someone for a change that doesn't mean they'll be anywhere near  comfortable with it!   Quite the opposite sometimes. Sounds like there were too many things for her to cope with.  I don't think Harriet was in a zone where she cd "behave" because it was all just too much stress/anxiety.  Reasoning with an autistic person when they're upset can be seriously counter-productive....making matters worse.  Also treating them as neuro-typical children + expecting a neuro-typical reaction is a total non-starter.  If going shopping causes her + your family so much distress then maybe she shouldn't have to go?

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