Asperger's Syndrome and MDMA

I registered when I stumbled upon this thread through a google search prompted by trying to piece together things from my past.

I am 38 and was only diagnosed with Aspergers early this year.

I took ecstacy on and off back in the early nineties when I was in my late teens through to my mid twenties.  Of course back then I didn't know anything about autism or the spectrum and just wished I wasn't as shy, anti social, would easily annoy people without knowing why etc.

Now I should add I didn't take ecstacy as a 'cure' from what I now know were Aspie traits.  I took it because all of my smallish circle of 65 or so friends who were older than me had now properly paired off and so I felt alone 'again'.

I wanted to go out and enjoy myself.  I was after all at that age of partying however I had no social skills so I found it very very hard to find an outlet for my social needs.  Of course the easiest way was to go out with people from work that were around the same age but they weren't into my music (rock / metal) they were all into trance and the rave culture.

Es came into the conversation and I wasn't against trying so I did.

Now I cannot say I ever felt the 'love' or 'togetherness' that many 'Aspies' claim they felt.  Nor will I say I felt like an NT.  I didn't know I wasn't NT and even now looking back I couldn't tell you if I felt like an NT felt.

What I can say though is that even back then if I had been in a club that wasn't a metal club I would quickly get bored and leave within an hour.  Also these sort of nights turned into 'back to someone's house' nights where people just stayed awake with the dance music still going and playing the PS(1) all night long.

If I had been sober I would've got bored with this inane behaviour and all the talk about 'nothing' and the trance music.  I would've been ringing for a taxi.  On Ecstacy I was quite happy sitting and watching, listening, tapping my foot to the beat.  I wasn't the life and soul of the party, I didn't feel the need to hug anyone or talk non stop.  I just felt comfortable where I would normally feel bored and uneasy.  I felt happy where I would normally be getting angrier.  I felt that I could interact and enjoy people rather than wish they would go away (or talk about my subject.)

Just thought I would add my 2p in there.

The biggie:

Am I saying Extacy is the wonder drug for autism?

No, I don't know how others on different parts of the spectrum feel on it.  It was beneficial for me though.

Am I suggesting go and buy some?

No Way.  Back when I took it it was still relatively pure and pretty strong and I would only use it occasionally.  These days there are some very vyer dangerous things being palmed off as exctacy that are 1000% times more dangerous.

I registered when I stumbled upon this thread through a google search prompted by trying to piece together things from my past.

I am 38 and was only diagnosed with Aspergers early this year.

I took ecstacy on and off back in the early nineties when I was in my late teens through to my mid twenties.  Of course back then I didn't know anything about autism or the spectrum and just wished I wasn't as shy, anti social, would easily annoy people without knowing why etc.

Now I should add I didn't take ecstacy as a 'cure' from what I now know were Aspie traits.  I took it because all of my smallish circle of 65 or so friends who were older than me had now properly paired off and so I felt alone 'again'.

I wanted to go out and enjoy myself.  I was after all at that age of partying however I had no social skills so I found it very very hard to find an outlet for my social needs.  Of course the easiest way was to go out with people from work that were around the same age but they weren't into my music (rock / metal) they were all into trance and the rave culture.

Es came into the conversation and I wasn't against trying so I did.

Now I cannot say I ever felt the 'love' or 'togetherness' that many 'Aspies' claim they felt.  Nor will I say I felt like an NT.  I didn't know I wasn't NT and even now looking back I couldn't tell you if I felt like an NT felt.

What I can say though is that even back then if I had been in a club that wasn't a metal club I would quickly get bored and leave within an hour.  Also these sort of nights turned into 'back to someone's house' nights where people just stayed awake with the dance music still going and playing the PS(1) all night long.

If I had been sober I would've got bored with this inane behaviour and all the talk about 'nothing' and the trance music.  I would've been ringing for a taxi.  On Ecstacy I was quite happy sitting and watching, listening, tapping my foot to the beat.  I wasn't the life and soul of the party, I didn't feel the need to hug anyone or talk non stop.  I just felt comfortable where I would normally feel bored and uneasy.  I felt happy where I would normally be getting angrier.  I felt that I could interact and enjoy people rather than wish they would go away (or talk about my subject.)

Just thought I would add my 2p in there.

The biggie:

Am I saying Extacy is the wonder drug for autism?

No, I don't know how others on different parts of the spectrum feel on it.  It was beneficial for me though.

Am I suggesting go and buy some?

No Way.  Back when I took it it was still relatively pure and pretty strong and I would only use it occasionally.  These days there are some very vyer dangerous things being palmed off as exctacy that are 1000% times more dangerous.