I feel sad and kinda like im losing will to live

Oh no Emma, has something specific happened?

No tbh i just get frustrated rlly easily over absolutely nothing and i have nobody to be my friend and art is the only thing keeping me alive atm

I'm struggling massively too at the minute.  My anxiety is going through the roof and my thoughts are on a negative loop about mistakes I made as a teenager trying to fit in.  Although I'm now 45 I'm still reliving them in my head.  I'm trying to learn to be kind to myself but am struggling and all I'm doing at the Moment is watching comedy repeats on TV, colouring in and doing crossword puzzles.  Do you enjoy your art?  What kind of stuff do you do?

Hi Billy, thank you so much for your reply.  I'm struggling even more at the minute - I'm just so ashamed of mistakes I've made and I can't shake the feeling and I'm constantly on edge about Christmas

Hey, just wanted to chime in on the mistakes you made as your younger thing. I know its hard but you don't need to beat yourself up over that. It doesnt matter what youve done, what matters is the person you are now, that is all that matters, and you sound like a really good, kind person.

I made so many mistakes trying to fit in when I was younger, I was an absolute ***, but now I am me again and I am glad of that. I know who I am now and thats what matters. I spent years beating myself up about my old mistakes but now I understand that us autists always feel so much pressure to fit in that it makes us be people we are not

Forgive yourself and enjoy being you 

My advice to my younger self would be to say it's completely ok to be yourself and don't beat yourself up to much about fitting in.  I have given myself such a hard time all of my life for being 'weird' that my self esteem is pretty much none existent so I just want to say to you be kind to yourself, allow your frustrations - they will pass and accept that you're a wonderful person exactly as you are.

My advice to my younger self would be to say it's completely ok to be yourself and don't beat yourself up to much about fitting in.  I have given myself such a hard time all of my life for being 'weird' that my self esteem is pretty much none existent so I just want to say to you be kind to yourself, allow your frustrations - they will pass and accept that you're a wonderful person exactly as you are.