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Sex within a relationship

NAS72600
over 2 years ago

We think my husband might have Autism, he is on a waiting list to see someone.

The problem is I have a very high sex drive and he doesn't seem to have one at all. We have been together for 11 years and I always thought things would get better, but they haven't.

Finally today he has said one of the reasons is he doesn't like the smell of me down there, I'm not dirty and I don't notice a smell, so I explained to him that its natural for there to be a smell down there.

I also asked him if there is anything I can do to help him and he said no, he just needs to get over this by himself.

He said he has no idea how he is going to get over it and after always being like this, I can't see how he can just get over it.

I would be grateful for any advice on this.

Parents
  • over 2 years ago

    I completely understand what he is going through. In my life, I have ended relationships with people with high sex drives. Being with them was a living hell and felt like living in an abusive relationship.  It's not just the smell of genitalia, but sometimes for me it's also the sight of genitalia that can make me physically sick. In addition, although I may like someone a great deal, the moment they become aroused and start to make advances, it can make me dislike them or even detest them. 

    I'm not sure what to suggest to you both, other than I don't think it's possible to change how we feel about the frequency of sexual activity, because it's not something that is within our control. For me, it's a simple matter of compatibility. I'm either compatible with someone sexually or I'm not.

    I'm just thinking off the top of my head here, but if you both want to stay together, then maybe you can find another outlet for your high sex drive? This would mean you could get your rocks off but leave him alone. Bluntly speaking, it's only the need to orgasm that drives sexual urges, and both men and women can achieve orgasms quite easily without needing the participation of someone else.

Reply
  • over 2 years ago

    I completely understand what he is going through. In my life, I have ended relationships with people with high sex drives. Being with them was a living hell and felt like living in an abusive relationship.  It's not just the smell of genitalia, but sometimes for me it's also the sight of genitalia that can make me physically sick. In addition, although I may like someone a great deal, the moment they become aroused and start to make advances, it can make me dislike them or even detest them. 

    I'm not sure what to suggest to you both, other than I don't think it's possible to change how we feel about the frequency of sexual activity, because it's not something that is within our control. For me, it's a simple matter of compatibility. I'm either compatible with someone sexually or I'm not.

    I'm just thinking off the top of my head here, but if you both want to stay together, then maybe you can find another outlet for your high sex drive? This would mean you could get your rocks off but leave him alone. Bluntly speaking, it's only the need to orgasm that drives sexual urges, and both men and women can achieve orgasms quite easily without needing the participation of someone else.

Children