Skip to main content
Close Button
Donate
  • Replies 149 replies
  • Subscribers 54 subscribers
  • Views 18364 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

A revelation about getting on with people

Deleted user
over 2 years ago

I've realised that people prefer it if I start with pleasantries, not just going straight to the point of what I want to say.

e.g. just now I went to get my recycling bin after it had been emptied. At least I thought it was my bin. I saw my neighbour getting into his car so I called 'is this my bin?' He looked blankly at me and said, 'hello, how are you? Haven't seen you for a while.' I was confused, I needed to know if that bin was mine or his. He was confused because he hadn't seen me for a while and wanted to say hello, not talk about bins.

Then it dawned on me, ta dahhhhhhhhhh! I should have said 'hello how are you?' Before launching into the questions about the bin.

I like to get straight to the point, never mind chit chat. Most humans prefer the chit chat first. Bulb 

I hope this has been helpful Sweat smile 

Parents
  • over 2 years ago

    As an aside, why not just paint your house number on your bin?

    Then there'll be no confusion, and you won't have to speak to your neighbour Smiley

  • over 2 years ago in reply to Deleted user

    It is on there but he was standing in the way getting into his car, so I couldn't really push past him to look at the other side. I had to actually talk. Anyway, he's nice, he helped me when someone crashed their car into my fence.

  • over 2 years ago in reply to Deleted user

    Ah, well, that makes sense.

    I don't mind general courtesies, as long as they don't transform into small talk Slight smile

  • over 2 years ago in reply to out_of_step

    I didn't even know what masking was until a couple of years ago when I was researching for my assessment.

    I probably did it a little but it felt like I was a fraud. If I was being myself it would sometimes be awkward or uncomfortable.

    But I don't even know what I am, so how can I pretend to be something else?

    But on the whole, I just acted like myself at any given moment, take it or leave it. The masking/unmasking probably left me frustrated and argumentative. I grew to quite enjoy rubbing people up the wrong way. I basically felt I was surrounded by morons, and I let everyone know about it.

    I suppose as a defence or coping mechanism I used abrasiveness and outspokenness rather than masking.

    I was very vocal about the terms 'Be true to yourself", or "Be yourself"

    That's fine, unless you are actually being yourself. Then people don't like it.

    F*ck 'em.

Reply
  • over 2 years ago in reply to out_of_step

    I didn't even know what masking was until a couple of years ago when I was researching for my assessment.

    I probably did it a little but it felt like I was a fraud. If I was being myself it would sometimes be awkward or uncomfortable.

    But I don't even know what I am, so how can I pretend to be something else?

    But on the whole, I just acted like myself at any given moment, take it or leave it. The masking/unmasking probably left me frustrated and argumentative. I grew to quite enjoy rubbing people up the wrong way. I basically felt I was surrounded by morons, and I let everyone know about it.

    I suppose as a defence or coping mechanism I used abrasiveness and outspokenness rather than masking.

    I was very vocal about the terms 'Be true to yourself", or "Be yourself"

    That's fine, unless you are actually being yourself. Then people don't like it.

    F*ck 'em.

Children
No Data