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Difficult situation! Any advice?

Liv

Hello everyone,

There is a slight story to this but I'd appreciate it if you read it and gave me some advice if you can. Please don't judge me too harshly!

Around a year ago, a girl told me she wanted to be my friend. I'd never had a friend before and I knew I should want them so I said, "Of course." Seeing us together, it was clear that this was a bad idea from the word go, but we had something in common at the time (this being another issue entirely). Anyway, for a while I made an effort with her. She told me I could talk to her whenever I liked and I took her literally, which I now realise was unfair.

For a while she was incredibly patient and supportive as I told her various things about my life, but when I got round to telling her I was going through an AS diagnostic procedure, she turned on me. Her exact words were, "You're such a liar, honestly, the fact that you'll go to that extreme for attention is just sick. There are special needs kids out there and if one of them heard you they would be so upset. You make me sick." And, of course, I was telling the truth.

I just lost it with her. Her words upset me so much. I vowed to her that one day I'd prove it to her. And every day since I got the diagnosis months ago, I have thought of her and how my diagnosis report is kept safe and accessible to me. I've been meaning to take it into school to show her by way of proof and explanation, to make her apologise, but every time I mean to something stops me. I wonder if it would be the right thing to do after all. Which leaves me wondering...is it the right thing to do? Have any of you been in a similar situation? Or can you imagine yourself doing this? I would greatly appreciate any advice.

Thank you for your time,

Liv Smile

Parents

  • Simple advice is to consider what you would like as an outcome while accepting that you may not get the response you desire-you will have closure either way.

    Example a girl I was friendly with who was computer geek and pretty and smart- at the time i had a girlfriend and although I wish i had asked the person mentioned above out. When I did want to I found she had moved abroad.

    I sent an email as I expressed my feelings and she explained she had started a new life in another country and was happy.

    So with my partner of 8 years, I have two children, sure I think about the good times with my friend who moved abroad.

    But I have closure on the subject.

    So you could consider attempting to resolve unfinished situation, but shouldn't hope your get anything more than closure.

    Be proud of who you are and honest to yourself and others-our harshest critic can only be ourselves. 

Reply

  • Simple advice is to consider what you would like as an outcome while accepting that you may not get the response you desire-you will have closure either way.

    Example a girl I was friendly with who was computer geek and pretty and smart- at the time i had a girlfriend and although I wish i had asked the person mentioned above out. When I did want to I found she had moved abroad.

    I sent an email as I expressed my feelings and she explained she had started a new life in another country and was happy.

    So with my partner of 8 years, I have two children, sure I think about the good times with my friend who moved abroad.

    But I have closure on the subject.

    So you could consider attempting to resolve unfinished situation, but shouldn't hope your get anything more than closure.

    Be proud of who you are and honest to yourself and others-our harshest critic can only be ourselves. 

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