How are you with conversations?

How are you with people talking? I find most people talk a lot (or too much for me at least). As for me, I don't want to say much generally. I prefer doing rather than talking. When people talk, I generally drift away into my own thoughts and daydreams, and don't listen to 90% of what is coming out of their mouths. I have tried, but it takes too much concentration and tires me out. Unless there is a specific point to the conversation or an important piece of information to remember, I prefer to not listen to people. I have tried to copy neurotypical style conversation, but it is still a struggle to produce extended periods of conversational speech. Does anyone else experience these problems? It isn't just other people, either. I find myself losing interest in what I'm saying, too, if it is too long-winded, or I just lose interest in the topic of conversation (the latest goings on with the Kardashians, X Factor or Love Island), but I falter after a minute or so. It's obvious I have no interest in people's psychodramas. I can watch and listen to a factual documentary for hours and hours, well mostly, though many of them now have adopted a more informal speaking style which irritates me. There seems to be a general trend to dumb down in television documentaries to the level of pub-style banter. Even some academics have adopted a conversational-style, which borders on frivolity. I'm not advocating for a world without talking, but one that had less talking would suit me better. Or one where people talk as a means of imparting information rather than as a social function. 

  • I tend to be the passenger in my chats. My BFF online, from Toronto, can take a conversation for a walk. I believe she's on the Spectrum, as she's hyper-interested in Fashion and Makeup.

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  • Mindful communication is when you can disengage from negative emotions by staying calm, judicious, and straightforward throughout the conversation.

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  • I relate completely to this... why are we expected to go through these (sometimes lengthy) introductions at the start and end of a conversation? I often get confused by the questions How are you? How are things? How is life? I have to resist the natural urge to give people an accurate response as opposed to a performative, fine thanks. and you?  

  • My conversations are usually just me infodumping and the other person not caring. I overshare a lot which can make conversations awkward. I hate small talk so much. I think this is why I overshare, I find it much easier to talk about things I am passionate about than just casual chit chat. I rarely say hello to people I talk to often, I usually just jump into whatever I want to talk about without the social grace of politeness.

    I talk more than I listen. listening is so hard! Where do I look? Why does their face look like that? They have something on their face and I can't ignore it? Do I look weird?  Am I standing straight?

    I'm very good at talking AT people, not very good at back and forth conversation. And terrible at listening to things I'm not interested in