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Big void

NAS73993

My partner has recently found out she has Autism. This has explained so much about our relationship. Ive felt like I’ve continuously tried to keep our relationship going, I’m always the one picking her up when she has ‘meltdowns’ but one the odd occasion when I needed support she struggled to be there for me. Is this common? Does anyone have any advice as to why and how we overcome this? 
We love each other very much, I am very patient and have tried to research what I can to support her. But sometimes (not often) I need a little helping hand and a little love. 
Do I just accept that I won’t get it? Do I spend my entire life just getting a small fraction of what I need? 
I’m at a loss because I want to be the perfect partner to her without losing myself in the process. 
Is it possible to have a healthy happy relationship with someone on the spectrum? 

im sorry if this sounds like I’m moaning but I’m so lost Disappointed 

Parents

  • Hi,

    Not sure I can help much, but I've heard exactly the same but the other way round. I think expectations might play a big role in making it work long term.

    If you want a full bells and whistles neurotypical relationship, then maybe it's better for both of you to move on. 

    But if you can accept her for who she is, and not what you would like her to be then there's a path forward.

    My partner decided that she would try and create what she felt she needed outside the relationship, and this is destructive for everyone, so I'd suggest making your mind up sooner rather than later for everyone's sake.

    As I said, not sure this helps, but hopefully it'll give something to think about.

Reply

  • Hi,

    Not sure I can help much, but I've heard exactly the same but the other way round. I think expectations might play a big role in making it work long term.

    If you want a full bells and whistles neurotypical relationship, then maybe it's better for both of you to move on. 

    But if you can accept her for who she is, and not what you would like her to be then there's a path forward.

    My partner decided that she would try and create what she felt she needed outside the relationship, and this is destructive for everyone, so I'd suggest making your mind up sooner rather than later for everyone's sake.

    As I said, not sure this helps, but hopefully it'll give something to think about.

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