AS partner cheating

Hi, I'm new to this but my partner is recently self-diagnosed AS. He is very intelligent and high-functioning. I just found out that he's being cheating on me in a non-sexual relationship for 3 years with a much, much younger woman  (And, please, before anyone asks, yes, you can cheat without sex or even romance.) Having given this a LOT of thought I think this is more to do with narcissistic personality traits than AS. He's done online tests for various personality disorders and this one fits best to his characteristics, although I appreciate it's all very fluid. Any (helpful) comments or advice gratefully received. 

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  • Hi NAS73828

    I'm new to this community and not sure if you will receive this message as I see yours was from more than 2 years ago.

    I find myself in a similar position you described here. Partner has been having an emotional affair, mostly by text message, for 3+ years. We are considering whether he has Asperger's / ASD which is what led me here and to search for 'infidelity'. It does seem ironic to me that someone who struggles so much with emotional connection would have this kind of affair. Would make more sense if I had! It's been me struggling with the lack of connection for years (married for 20+ yrs). 

    I've read the comments with interest... my own understanding so far is that the the connection with the affair partner took on a kind of particular intensity because of the Aspergers ( if that diagnosis is correct). He doesn't click with many people and this woman became a sort of new hobby / special interest. 

    But I am unsure if I am just looking for a reason to stay... and ASD would allow me to make a more generous interpretation of his actions. When perhaps the affair is just a giant red flag. Partner is open to the possibility of ASD and there are other reasons it does seem to make sense of many other things. 

    Anyway... if you get this, be glad to know how this has panned out for you / any tips or wisdom learned along the way.

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