HELP NEW TO THIS AND NEEDING ADVICE PLEASE

Hi again - I hope the seminar is helpful to all of you.  Your daughter may have a sensory problem with the sound of crying.  Imagine having to listen to finger nails being scratched repeatedly for hours on end down a blackboard or similar - that could be our equivalent to what she goes through each day at nursery + in other places.  It'll get a bit worse for her each time she hears the crying.  So if she does have a noise sensitivity then she'll find the nursery a very stressful environment.

About family - from what you say it appears she isn't clear about who's family + who isn't.  My son is the same altho he isn't particularly into cuddles.  Perhaps she's confused?   Would she understand if you could find a way of saying to her that it's only the 2 of you who give + get cuddles or that she can only cuddle in certain places in the home?  

Back to the children - On the 1 hand the noise seriously upsets her.  On the other hand she's probably been told to be nice to little ones?  Confusing.  She may not have any sympathy at all to these children because what they do upsets her.  As you say children are difficult to avoid so the nursery may not be a good environment for her.  I hope your meeting goes well + things move on positively.  bw

Hi thank you ever so much for taking the time to get back to me,it means a lot.

my daughter who's speech is very limited was very vocal about the fact previously that she didn't like babies and would scream and tell them or toddlers this.when I asked why,she said babies cry. But now she try's to cuddle and smother them and shouts at them to the point she is hurting them. I tried getting out dolls which she has never been interested in to show her how to be gentle but she threw them away and said she wanted to take their heads off (scary) so I put them away ,but as I said very hard avoiding babies and small children in everyday situations.she tolerates children her own age and older now though because she would tell little boys and girls she didn't like them when she started nursery.

edu physc has been in touch about arranging an emergency meeting about her nursery but not sure whether to keep putting her and myself through going there every day until something is sorted or what.

she keeps cuddling and kissing strangers calling them mummy and daddy even though we are there,keep telling her that she just cuddles family,as some people find it embarrassing and it makes them feel uncomfortable,this is another thing she does at nursery to the mums and dads.

looking forward to the seminar on Monday,lets hope the husband actually listens for once.

thank u again 

Hi Inverlass - you're all having a bad time of it, especially your little girl + yourself.  The nursery appears unsuitable for her as she has no support there.  Do any of the staff understand autism?   You should request a statement of educational needs urgently.  The statement should give her support in school by a person who understands her needs.  Do you know why she "lunges" at babies + toddlers? Something will be causing her to do this.  She must be incredibly stressed out at the nursery.  This is not her fault - its to do with the physical and/or social environment which seems to be too too much for her to cope with.    I think you need to consider whether she should be attending at all.   It seems to be causing so many problems that it's adding to the stress for all of you in a big big way.  I think you're right to think she'd benefit from a smaller group, but she also needs staff who know about autism, as I said before.  Just another question (sorry) - does she "lunge" at babies + toddlers wherever she is?

There's lots of info on this site so have a good look around to see how autism affects her as an individual.  There's info on educational needs as well.  The home page will also direct you to courses you could go on - there's so much info on so many things.  There's the nas helpline so you can talk to someone who can advise.  It can be busy so you may have to ring back.   She needs a daily routine she can rely on day in day out.  You can use pictures if she's non-verbal, or even if she is verbal.  

Your husband also needs to face up to the diagnosis + learn about autism.  He's making life worse when you're already under so much pessure.  He may be upset himself so has gone into denial.  This is not that uncommon.  If he's willing he could also check out this site.  Sometimes talking to "a professional" can convince a parent more than talking to a partner/spouse.  Leaving info lying around the house so that those coming across it can pick it up can also be a way of getting them up to speed without making a big deal out of things.

 Keep on at the Ed Psych or any other professional who was involved in the diagnosis till you get some action.  Follow-up after diagnosis could be speech therapy for example.  Have you got a social worker? A good 1 could be helpful in checking things out for you + arranging things.

Lastly + I know it's difficult, but please try to look after yourself.  All this will wear you out emotionally + physically.  Have you anyone else, family/friends who can give you a bit of a break?    I do feel for you as many others on this site will too.  We've all had very difficult times so we do understand.  Take care.