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How to approach undiagnosed partner with Asperger traits

NAS73687

Hi everyone, 

I've been having serious relationship issues with my partner for the last few years now. To the point where we are both pretty depressed. When describing my partner to my therapist, she suggested he may have Aspergers. I looked it up and there is a lot of overlap with the traits described. It all seems so obvious now. I feel very lonely in our relationship, but want to give it one last shot for our daughters sake. 

What advice would you give as to how to tackle this topic with my partner? I'm worried he will flip out, get very offended and I can even conceive that he will admit to it (he is generally very self-aware).

What would you say the benefit of me bringing it up would be?

At the moment I'm just trying to make things as bearable as possible so don't want to stoke a fire.

Thanks,

Parents

  • I wonder if your partner is aware of what adult autism is really like? Or is he only aware of stereotypes? After I was alerted to the possibility of being autistic I researched the condition like a maniac, ticking off all the things that described me. It was a huge relief to find some underlying cause for the way I am. Perhaps introducing him to some positive autistic role-models might be useful - Dan Ackroyd, Anthony Hopkins, Elon Musk, David Byrne (Talking Heads), and Carl Sagan (all diagnosed). 

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  • I wonder if your partner is aware of what adult autism is really like? Or is he only aware of stereotypes? After I was alerted to the possibility of being autistic I researched the condition like a maniac, ticking off all the things that described me. It was a huge relief to find some underlying cause for the way I am. Perhaps introducing him to some positive autistic role-models might be useful - Dan Ackroyd, Anthony Hopkins, Elon Musk, David Byrne (Talking Heads), and Carl Sagan (all diagnosed). 

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