• Replies 23 replies
  • Subscribers 36 subscribers
  • Views 5368 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

How to approach undiagnosed partner with Asperger traits

NAS73687

Hi everyone, 

I've been having serious relationship issues with my partner for the last few years now. To the point where we are both pretty depressed. When describing my partner to my therapist, she suggested he may have Aspergers. I looked it up and there is a lot of overlap with the traits described. It all seems so obvious now. I feel very lonely in our relationship, but want to give it one last shot for our daughters sake. 

What advice would you give as to how to tackle this topic with my partner? I'm worried he will flip out, get very offended and I can even conceive that he will admit to it (he is generally very self-aware).

What would you say the benefit of me bringing it up would be?

At the moment I'm just trying to make things as bearable as possible so don't want to stoke a fire.

Thanks,

Parents

  • Hello, I just wanted to say that I am in a similar situation, but I couldn't help myself and told him that I thought he had ASD. It didn't go well, and now he thinks I use it to attack him, for example, when he's being insensitive. I bring it up because I think he's selfish. He says even if it were true, how does it matter? I say because it's hurting me, and knowing that you have ASD could help us find coping mechanisms to improve our relationship. I think he makes my depression and anxiety so much worse and I'm at the end of my tether. It's so hard to deal with him. He doesn't support my mental health or emotional needs. In fact, if I'm crying, he ignores me. And so on and so forth. I feel so lonely.

    I think despite his initial first reaction, deep down he thinks it's possible that he has ASD. At least it's something. 

    Sorry this was more of an 'I can relate' post than any help. 

Reply

  • Hello, I just wanted to say that I am in a similar situation, but I couldn't help myself and told him that I thought he had ASD. It didn't go well, and now he thinks I use it to attack him, for example, when he's being insensitive. I bring it up because I think he's selfish. He says even if it were true, how does it matter? I say because it's hurting me, and knowing that you have ASD could help us find coping mechanisms to improve our relationship. I think he makes my depression and anxiety so much worse and I'm at the end of my tether. It's so hard to deal with him. He doesn't support my mental health or emotional needs. In fact, if I'm crying, he ignores me. And so on and so forth. I feel so lonely.

    I think despite his initial first reaction, deep down he thinks it's possible that he has ASD. At least it's something. 

    Sorry this was more of an 'I can relate' post than any help. 

Children
No Data