NO MANS LAND

autismtwo said:

Can I ask for a bit of advice.

My brother asked me to drop him at a garage to look at a car.

The request freaked me, straight away. All of a sudden my life had been stolen and I was not in control. For my autistic mind, it was a step from known land into no mans land.

My brother knew I was freaking out, so said to me, I'll met you at the park first,, you know that. That help a bit because I know the park area, and it is half way to the garage.

I was still stressed when I met him, but under this directions I got to the garage, although I did know how to get there, him talking through the directions as I drove helped me relax. When I got to the garage, I had to get out of the car and walk about due to the stress of waiting for him to return. My bowels started to go and I was freaking out about what if I need the toilet. When he returned I drove back to know land from no mans land and I was fine after half a hour, the toilet was not even in my mind.

This is what it is like in my world,, stepping of the daily path is like a parachute jump without the parachute.

If I move of the know path, my body goes into tension, stress and shut down mode and all this does or has done over time has acted as a stimulas, response and reinforcement loop.

The truth be told, I am scared of people and my ability to cope around them, it is as if my egotistical mind has a broken personally which is fragile and can be destroyed by anyone near me.

Does anyone else have a similar problem or know of any solution.

I can sympathise and understand, to a certain extent.  I had to move back in with my parents due to severe home-sickness and anxiety issues.  Likewise, I dislike being away from home for more than 24 hours.  Consequently, I have not really been on holiday as such for a long time, preferring day trips or weekends away only.  However, I do like to go on shopping trips to London on my own and go to gigs in London on my own, which is an accomplishment, but I dislike being away from home for any more than 24 hours.  

* * * * 

I think you should not be so hard on yourself and congratulate yourself that you did manage to get him to the garage and back eventually.  Even though you were very anxious, the fact that you did it should be seen as a positive step.  

If you are going to new places, before you get there, perhaps you can phone ahead, explain your disability and ask whether there is a toilet on site that you can use, if need be.

Likewise, before you get there or when you get there, you could explain of your disability and ask the staff to be patient with you.  

* * * * 

I carry with me some of the NAS Asperger Syndrome busiess cards inside the Autism Alert wallet that NAS sell.  I also take my passport with me if I think I might have to write my signature, so that I can show who I am if I accidentally miswrite my signature.  If I am having a panic attack or a meltdown, I can use these cards to indicate what my neurological illness is.  

I hate autonated switchboards, when one has to press 1, and then 5, and then 1, and then 2, and then speak to an autonated switchboard before being put through to someone.  Once I get through to an actual human being, I ask them if they can advise me of any quicker ways of getting through to someone, without going through the different options on the switchboard.  

autismtwo said:

Can I ask for a bit of advice.

My brother asked me to drop him at a garage to look at a car.

The request freaked me, straight away. All of a sudden my life had been stolen and I was not in control. For my autistic mind, it was a step from known land into no mans land.

My brother knew I was freaking out, so said to me, I'll met you at the park first,, you know that. That help a bit because I know the park area, and it is half way to the garage.

I was still stressed when I met him, but under this directions I got to the garage, although I did know how to get there, him talking through the directions as I drove helped me relax. When I got to the garage, I had to get out of the car and walk about due to the stress of waiting for him to return. My bowels started to go and I was freaking out about what if I need the toilet. When he returned I drove back to know land from no mans land and I was fine after half a hour, the toilet was not even in my mind.

This is what it is like in my world,, stepping of the daily path is like a parachute jump without the parachute.

If I move of the know path, my body goes into tension, stress and shut down mode and all this does or has done over time has acted as a stimulas, response and reinforcement loop.

The truth be told, I am scared of people and my ability to cope around them, it is as if my egotistical mind has a broken personally which is fragile and can be destroyed by anyone near me.

Does anyone else have a similar problem or know of any solution.

I can sympathise and understand, to a certain extent.  I had to move back in with my parents due to severe home-sickness and anxiety issues.  Likewise, I dislike being away from home for more than 24 hours.  Consequently, I have not really been on holiday as such for a long time, preferring day trips or weekends away only.  However, I do like to go on shopping trips to London on my own and go to gigs in London on my own, which is an accomplishment, but I dislike being away from home for any more than 24 hours.  

* * * * 

I think you should not be so hard on yourself and congratulate yourself that you did manage to get him to the garage and back eventually.  Even though you were very anxious, the fact that you did it should be seen as a positive step.  

If you are going to new places, before you get there, perhaps you can phone ahead, explain your disability and ask whether there is a toilet on site that you can use, if need be.

Likewise, before you get there or when you get there, you could explain of your disability and ask the staff to be patient with you.  

* * * * 

I carry with me some of the NAS Asperger Syndrome busiess cards inside the Autism Alert wallet that NAS sell.  I also take my passport with me if I think I might have to write my signature, so that I can show who I am if I accidentally miswrite my signature.  If I am having a panic attack or a meltdown, I can use these cards to indicate what my neurological illness is.  

I hate autonated switchboards, when one has to press 1, and then 5, and then 1, and then 2, and then speak to an autonated switchboard before being put through to someone.  Once I get through to an actual human being, I ask them if they can advise me of any quicker ways of getting through to someone, without going through the different options on the switchboard.