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I think my siblings are autistic but my mum is refusing to get them tested.

NAS71534

Hi people my names Ellie and i’m looking for advice.


I was diagnosed a few years ago as I was under the care of CAMHS and they noticed that I was displaying traits. My parents were totally cool about it and even looked into what it means to be autistic.

However, I’ve been bringing up that I think my siblings are autistic too and that they should get tested because if they are then it’ll explain their experience and they’ll be able to access support/accommodations easier if they need it now or in the future. Every time I bring it up my mum says “no they’re not”, “if they are it isn’t impacting them” or just gets generally really weird and defensive about it. 

Today, I brought it up again and said directly to my sister that I think she’s autistic and my mum got angry and told me off. 

This is hella weird right? I don’t understand her thought process at all because she’s educated about autism and totally cool and accommodating with me? 

Can anyone give any insight or advice on how to handle this? I don’t want my siblings to go undiagnosed and without support/accommodations if they need it.

Parents

  • Anonymous self testing via the internet Asperger test site is something anyone can do, if they themselves want to know. 

    YOU of course, want to know very much, (if you are an Autist that "wanting to know" is baked in and irrestiible it seems, particularly when you are young) but Autism is a very personal thing, and your siblings might not want to find out yet. And some Autists don't get so much trouble and stress as others, so do not seem to have to "deal with it" until they do. Pushing them to deal with it now, is not really being kind to them, but being on hand to help if and when it does become a problem is kind.

    You might do better right now, counter intuitive as it may seem, to focus on helping yourself. My experience of the bad side of Autism is that it confers the accidental super power of both feeling yourself, and inducing in others, great annoyance!

    Finding ways to deal with that particular issue in yourself, will do far more for harmonious relationships with both the normie and autie people you love, than asking them to "pick a side"...

    I am old, male, have many bad attitudes, but I have learned that normies have feelings too, and they are incredibly easy to damage them, if you are not careful and in control. 

    I THINK, and I'd love a second opinion, that using animal metaphors;  Auties relate like cats, and Normies relate like dogs.Just because you aren't a pack animal, it doesn't mean you can't get on with or even naturally dominate them.

    Doing it all with kindness and consideration, as well as feeling morally right, is the ultimate Autistic retaliation against a sometimes very cruel and unpleasant normie world.

    I hope this helps someone as it has helped me.

Reply

  • Anonymous self testing via the internet Asperger test site is something anyone can do, if they themselves want to know. 

    YOU of course, want to know very much, (if you are an Autist that "wanting to know" is baked in and irrestiible it seems, particularly when you are young) but Autism is a very personal thing, and your siblings might not want to find out yet. And some Autists don't get so much trouble and stress as others, so do not seem to have to "deal with it" until they do. Pushing them to deal with it now, is not really being kind to them, but being on hand to help if and when it does become a problem is kind.

    You might do better right now, counter intuitive as it may seem, to focus on helping yourself. My experience of the bad side of Autism is that it confers the accidental super power of both feeling yourself, and inducing in others, great annoyance!

    Finding ways to deal with that particular issue in yourself, will do far more for harmonious relationships with both the normie and autie people you love, than asking them to "pick a side"...

    I am old, male, have many bad attitudes, but I have learned that normies have feelings too, and they are incredibly easy to damage them, if you are not careful and in control. 

    I THINK, and I'd love a second opinion, that using animal metaphors;  Auties relate like cats, and Normies relate like dogs.Just because you aren't a pack animal, it doesn't mean you can't get on with or even naturally dominate them.

    Doing it all with kindness and consideration, as well as feeling morally right, is the ultimate Autistic retaliation against a sometimes very cruel and unpleasant normie world.

    I hope this helps someone as it has helped me.

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