Notions of identity

What do you feel is part of your identity other than your diagnosis? I'm asking this, because I feel I've been getting a bit bogged down by my recent diagnosis and coming on here. I've said before that I don't want to be defined by my diagnosis, so thought I would write about other parts of my identity. I feel I've always had a strong sense of identity of some particular aspects of my life, and I think these will always be with me. I feel like they are (or have been) non-neogitable elements of my life.

Growing up I was into "alternative" stuff which probably doesn't seem that alternative now but in the late ninetines /early noughties it kind of was. Music was a big part of my identity and still is. Probably up until my late twenties, if someone was into music which I saw a less quality than my tastes, then that gave me good enough reason not to like them. Thankfully that has changed now. (Also, I think the idea of "alternative" is very different now because of the internet and things are more homogeonised, but I suppose individuals could still be seen as conventional or unconventional...)

Other notions of identity I can relate to are being northern and from a working class family. This is so important to me.  Having had a university education, I feel I'm somewhat "caught" in the middle of working and middle class now.  I feel I'm a bit too common for some people, but too "posh" for others. This links in with my accent which is also another big part of my identity.

Another one, and I don't know if this is to do with AS, is I feel as I'm getting older, I've got a better B.S. detector. A lot of my friends are into eating out and trying new fangled places, stuff they've read on social media and hyped up nonsense. I don't have social media apart from this forum. I dont think it's that I'm getting more cynical, I just feel a lot of it is style over substance and I'm really not interested in eating a croissant crossed with a donut and drinking an expensive coffee from a cafe made out of plywood. I feel like the world is getting overly fancy just for the sake of it. Everything has to become a "thing" these days.

I'm sure there's other stuff I will think of once I've posted.

So what about you? What do you strongly identify with which is something you aren't willing to budge on?

I've edited the post to make it shorter

Parents
  • This ego versus great true self on high is something I lost way too much sleep over in early adult adulthood. I was so afraid that what I thought my self was, my idealised self up to a point, really a false and this great individuality on high would come along and obliterate my sad and puny personality. Needless to say, this magnificent 'true' individuality was unpleasant and not likable at all. There were those delightful 'friends' who really relished in rubbing it in and playing on all those angsts. I could not sleep and lost a lot of weight and was sure I was existentially damned.

    Whatever..... there are certain schools of thought I have nothing to do with now. And anyone into certain kinds of mind games will be shown the door with prejudice. 

    I got heavily heavily into goth too! But there became a head-on clash with all those conformists who wanted me to be more into prescribed dress codes in the interests of the jay oh bee. Ironically certain goths I encountered were a bit too much like Anne Rice's antihero when he firsts meets other vampires....... and discovers a petty conformist club.

    My 'identity' has moved on in other ways too, I am no longer a brit in quite the same way, I have dual nationality,  with an EU passport. 

    Whence this consciousness that never changes?

    No idea but hopefully beyond the ideas about it that bothered me so much before. 

Reply
  • This ego versus great true self on high is something I lost way too much sleep over in early adult adulthood. I was so afraid that what I thought my self was, my idealised self up to a point, really a false and this great individuality on high would come along and obliterate my sad and puny personality. Needless to say, this magnificent 'true' individuality was unpleasant and not likable at all. There were those delightful 'friends' who really relished in rubbing it in and playing on all those angsts. I could not sleep and lost a lot of weight and was sure I was existentially damned.

    Whatever..... there are certain schools of thought I have nothing to do with now. And anyone into certain kinds of mind games will be shown the door with prejudice. 

    I got heavily heavily into goth too! But there became a head-on clash with all those conformists who wanted me to be more into prescribed dress codes in the interests of the jay oh bee. Ironically certain goths I encountered were a bit too much like Anne Rice's antihero when he firsts meets other vampires....... and discovers a petty conformist club.

    My 'identity' has moved on in other ways too, I am no longer a brit in quite the same way, I have dual nationality,  with an EU passport. 

    Whence this consciousness that never changes?

    No idea but hopefully beyond the ideas about it that bothered me so much before. 

Children
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