Notions of identity

What do you feel is part of your identity other than your diagnosis? I'm asking this, because I feel I've been getting a bit bogged down by my recent diagnosis and coming on here. I've said before that I don't want to be defined by my diagnosis, so thought I would write about other parts of my identity. I feel I've always had a strong sense of identity of some particular aspects of my life, and I think these will always be with me. I feel like they are (or have been) non-neogitable elements of my life.

Growing up I was into "alternative" stuff which probably doesn't seem that alternative now but in the late ninetines /early noughties it kind of was. Music was a big part of my identity and still is. Probably up until my late twenties, if someone was into music which I saw a less quality than my tastes, then that gave me good enough reason not to like them. Thankfully that has changed now. (Also, I think the idea of "alternative" is very different now because of the internet and things are more homogeonised, but I suppose individuals could still be seen as conventional or unconventional...)

Other notions of identity I can relate to are being northern and from a working class family. This is so important to me.  Having had a university education, I feel I'm somewhat "caught" in the middle of working and middle class now.  I feel I'm a bit too common for some people, but too "posh" for others. This links in with my accent which is also another big part of my identity.

Another one, and I don't know if this is to do with AS, is I feel as I'm getting older, I've got a better B.S. detector. A lot of my friends are into eating out and trying new fangled places, stuff they've read on social media and hyped up nonsense. I don't have social media apart from this forum. I dont think it's that I'm getting more cynical, I just feel a lot of it is style over substance and I'm really not interested in eating a croissant crossed with a donut and drinking an expensive coffee from a cafe made out of plywood. I feel like the world is getting overly fancy just for the sake of it. Everything has to become a "thing" these days.

I'm sure there's other stuff I will think of once I've posted.

So what about you? What do you strongly identify with which is something you aren't willing to budge on?

I've edited the post to make it shorter

Parents
  • I'm not diagnosed yet but I think autism is a big part of my personality.

    However, it's very important to find parts of your identity that are not related to it. After all, autistic people are not homogenous.

    I like to have spontaneous adventures e.g. long runs/bike rides where I have no idea where I'm going, sometimes in the middle of the night. I guess a lot of autistic people much prefer routine and predictable activities but that isn't me.

    Similar to you, I also have little interest in 'fancy' stuff. I genuinely feel much happier staying in a cheap hostel or a campsite than, say, a 'nice' hotel. I feel like so many people, mainly neurotypicals, spend way too much money trying to live up to a stereotypical boring middle class lifestyle, conforming to societal expectations, when you could instead use your imagination and spend your resources on stuff you actually enjoy.

Reply
  • I'm not diagnosed yet but I think autism is a big part of my personality.

    However, it's very important to find parts of your identity that are not related to it. After all, autistic people are not homogenous.

    I like to have spontaneous adventures e.g. long runs/bike rides where I have no idea where I'm going, sometimes in the middle of the night. I guess a lot of autistic people much prefer routine and predictable activities but that isn't me.

    Similar to you, I also have little interest in 'fancy' stuff. I genuinely feel much happier staying in a cheap hostel or a campsite than, say, a 'nice' hotel. I feel like so many people, mainly neurotypicals, spend way too much money trying to live up to a stereotypical boring middle class lifestyle, conforming to societal expectations, when you could instead use your imagination and spend your resources on stuff you actually enjoy.

Children
  • the spontaneous running stuff is really good for you because u have lost your ego and are youre true self while doing (running cycling )

    now stop thinking about those around u and do not compare your self to them.

    Try to not dualise things ( like "me, i )  versus them NTs other people etc

    do this and things will improve

    or even better just ignore me as i am them as well ( Zen )  lol

    point at yourself and laugh is also good lol