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Notions of identity

Deleted User

What do you feel is part of your identity other than your diagnosis? I'm asking this, because I feel I've been getting a bit bogged down by my recent diagnosis and coming on here. I've said before that I don't want to be defined by my diagnosis, so thought I would write about other parts of my identity. I feel I've always had a strong sense of identity of some particular aspects of my life, and I think these will always be with me. I feel like they are (or have been) non-neogitable elements of my life.

Growing up I was into "alternative" stuff which probably doesn't seem that alternative now but in the late ninetines /early noughties it kind of was. Music was a big part of my identity and still is. Probably up until my late twenties, if someone was into music which I saw a less quality than my tastes, then that gave me good enough reason not to like them. Thankfully that has changed now. (Also, I think the idea of "alternative" is very different now because of the internet and things are more homogeonised, but I suppose individuals could still be seen as conventional or unconventional...)

Other notions of identity I can relate to are being northern and from a working class family. This is so important to me.  Having had a university education, I feel I'm somewhat "caught" in the middle of working and middle class now.  I feel I'm a bit too common for some people, but too "posh" for others. This links in with my accent which is also another big part of my identity.

Another one, and I don't know if this is to do with AS, is I feel as I'm getting older, I've got a better B.S. detector. A lot of my friends are into eating out and trying new fangled places, stuff they've read on social media and hyped up nonsense. I don't have social media apart from this forum. I dont think it's that I'm getting more cynical, I just feel a lot of it is style over substance and I'm really not interested in eating a croissant crossed with a donut and drinking an expensive coffee from a cafe made out of plywood. I feel like the world is getting overly fancy just for the sake of it. Everything has to become a "thing" these days.

I'm sure there's other stuff I will think of once I've posted.

So what about you? What do you strongly identify with which is something you aren't willing to budge on?

I've edited the post to make it shorter

Parents

  • I have always felt there was something wrong with me. Also I felt that I saw the world in 3D where others saw the world in 2D. As for an identity, I suppose because ive always felt there was something wrong with me, it made it very difficult to accept myself and have a true identity. Does that make sense?

  • in reply to Pikl

    I think a lot depends on your ability to have freedom and success when you are young.     If you keep meeting boundaries that don't make sense, you get the feeling of you are incorrect for wanting to attempt to break the mould.         

    My dad worked long hours and my mum wasn't interested (undiagnosed aspie) so I had total freedom.     I lived on the edge of countryside, I had a bike - I explored the world and built my own image of myself.      My twin brother was very normal.    He didn't yearn for anything I wanted - like a big train-set or models or seeing cars & planes in museums.     I became very independent - and other people were just obstacles to work around - I had no limits.     I figured out that I could achieve anything I wanted..   I was eight.

  • in reply to Plastic

    I remember seeing on the news, as a kid, a lion reserve in North Antrim. Of course, my mum said no. And, don't start me on how my nan reacted.

    I wasn't allowed to venture far. So, whenever I got the opportunity as a driver, I lacked confidence; as well as common sense. It was the fallout of dad's death in the Troubles. He had taken me to the Giant's Causeway as a kid the year before he was killed.

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  • in reply to Plastic

    I remember seeing on the news, as a kid, a lion reserve in North Antrim. Of course, my mum said no. And, don't start me on how my nan reacted.

    I wasn't allowed to venture far. So, whenever I got the opportunity as a driver, I lacked confidence; as well as common sense. It was the fallout of dad's death in the Troubles. He had taken me to the Giant's Causeway as a kid the year before he was killed.

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