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I'm so stuck

NAS72106

My husband is a medical practitioner and at the age of 54 we have now discovered he is autistic. we have two girls 22 and 18 which live with us. His relationship with them is dismal and most recently because quite aggressive with our older daughter leaving her feeling unsafe home alone with him. She spent a week at my mums and is now home but i have no idea what to do. I have asked him to get some help but he refuses saying that at 54 that's just how he is and we have to learn to deal with him as he is. Is that really true? Both the kids and I are struggling. He refuses to tell the kids about his diagnosis saying it will compromise his image. not sure it could get any more compromised! Help! we are all getting professional help except him! 

Parents

  • define aggressive? Shouting? Making unreasonable demands?

    As for will he change? Autism isn't a divorce from logic. He should be perfectly capable of having a rational discussion about whether his positions and expectations are reasonable or not. Will he ever get to the stage where he never says or does things that upset your daughter? Probably not, but then I doubt you'd expect that of any farther. But yes he may always do it more than normal people, but even if he remains highly opinionated and blunt he is not locked in to remaining explicitly threatening or completely unopen to reasonable discussion.

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  • define aggressive? Shouting? Making unreasonable demands?

    As for will he change? Autism isn't a divorce from logic. He should be perfectly capable of having a rational discussion about whether his positions and expectations are reasonable or not. Will he ever get to the stage where he never says or does things that upset your daughter? Probably not, but then I doubt you'd expect that of any farther. But yes he may always do it more than normal people, but even if he remains highly opinionated and blunt he is not locked in to remaining explicitly threatening or completely unopen to reasonable discussion.

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