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I'm so stuck

NAS72106

My husband is a medical practitioner and at the age of 54 we have now discovered he is autistic. we have two girls 22 and 18 which live with us. His relationship with them is dismal and most recently because quite aggressive with our older daughter leaving her feeling unsafe home alone with him. She spent a week at my mums and is now home but i have no idea what to do. I have asked him to get some help but he refuses saying that at 54 that's just how he is and we have to learn to deal with him as he is. Is that really true? Both the kids and I are struggling. He refuses to tell the kids about his diagnosis saying it will compromise his image. not sure it could get any more compromised! Help! we are all getting professional help except him! 

Parents

  • Is it fair to damage the children ,they are not at fault but are taking the hurt. Parents often project there problems on there children.

    Yes there is give and take. We are all different .But lying to your children and punishing them for your struggles is only going to cause them hurt and emotional damage .

    You need to be firm and fair , being aggressive towards a girl ,making her feel unsafe to be in the house with him ,is totally out of order ,he should apologise . Yes being autistic can make you accidently hurt someones feelings ,[ my wife sometimes starts crying when i have said something ,but i don't do it on purpose and feel bad that i have upset her ]

    If he isn't excepting he is causing a problem how is he going to stop . 

Reply

  • Is it fair to damage the children ,they are not at fault but are taking the hurt. Parents often project there problems on there children.

    Yes there is give and take. We are all different .But lying to your children and punishing them for your struggles is only going to cause them hurt and emotional damage .

    You need to be firm and fair , being aggressive towards a girl ,making her feel unsafe to be in the house with him ,is totally out of order ,he should apologise . Yes being autistic can make you accidently hurt someones feelings ,[ my wife sometimes starts crying when i have said something ,but i don't do it on purpose and feel bad that i have upset her ]

    If he isn't excepting he is causing a problem how is he going to stop . 

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